I’m slipping away like I wanted to run to a dark, secluded place.
To a place where hurt, despair and sorrow lingers on.
I wanted to feel remorse for myself and for what I feel.
But I, however cannot do that, I am stuck, stuck in this thing called, fear.
Fear, that I will not be able to move on or go further.
The fear that is eating me alive.
Fear of losing myself in the process of moving forward.
Fear that there will always be light after all those dark memories.
Because those dark places where my comfort zone.
They were my happy pill.
Am I allowed to really call those dark parts my happy place?
Is it going to be this way forever?
Would it always cause bruises to my whole being?
Will I ever be free of these dark, narrow and tedious world I now lived in?
Can I just detached myself in this cruel and bitter world and make everything around me disappear.
I wanted to disappear, like air passing by, like bubbles popping
and like the colors slowly fading. Let me run. Slowly. Breathing out, Breaking away. Fading. Rushing into the vast dreamland.
Me. Lifeless. Soulless