Lost and Confused

Have you ever wondered why you’re put on this earth? What exactly are you supposed to do? Sometimes you just feel so lost. While others describe their future in great details, all you can do is nod and look away. For all you see is darkness. Darkness ahead of you. Darkness representing fear and anxiety. The kind of darkness you refuse to face. It’s scary. Going to the next stage is scary. You don’t know what is there. You don’t know what to expect. You don’t know what to do. You will be wrong and you will fail and this is all part of life. We know this. We know that we must face it. So why are we still here? Why are we still stuck behind this line?

As we struggle with ourselves. Everyone keeps trying to push us forward. However, the more they want you to move, the more you shrink. You shrink until you can’t be seen anymore. And then you shrink some more. They try to advise you, to pull you back. You try to tell them what’s in your head but they don’t understand. They don’t want to understand. So, they tell you all the good things the main story has. They tell you what they have.

Lies. Lies. Lies. Everyone is against you. Stop being against me! Is that so wrong to be different? Is that so wrong to want to achieve something more than a normal life? Why should we follow the path that everyone takes? Why can’t we be different and not be judged for it? You scream. You shout. You try to do everything to be heard but that’s the only thing you’re not. As time passed and your wounds heal, you became quieter. Accepting everything on the outside. Blocking everyone out of your insides. It’s so lonely. So cold. So Lonely.

You retreat into the light and busied yourself with the things you know. The things you’re familiar with. You know you must face it eventually but not now. You’re not ready. You don’t know when you will ever be ready. Thus, you drown yourself. In the music that sings what you can’t speak.