You do not need to apply a scientific method to know that having friends is extremely beneficial besides the developmental benefits of having friends open the pathway for emotional support from making each other laugh to consoling each other through hard times. Emotional exchange is the foundation of the good friendship however, there are some friendships where one person gives while other person takes not. Bad friendships are quite common a simple google search using the term bad friends quickly generates 324 million results from published articles too sporty t-shirts the acknowledgement and commonality of bad friendships is obvious while not condoning kinds of friendships here are some ways to recognize if you are in a toxic relationship either a taker or a give and how to change it.
There are three kinds of friends. First is unaware, sometimes people say or do things without thinking other times people treat others badly because they grew up in household that taught them misinformed ways. As a result some people are unaware that they are bad friends simply because they don’t know any better these people have an opinion about every part of your life from whom you should date to, what college courses you should take, the unaware believes that they are being a good friend because they have taken the time to analyze your life for you. The unware will cross boundaries very often even after you reinforce that you do not want them to cross certain boundaries. Unfortunately, the unaware has a strong compulsion to inject themselves into every part of your life believing that they have a better perspective of your life than you do. The users, the user has a strong tendency to gravitate toward people who are more often willing to help them. In fact, most of the time the users will dominate conversations or will only contact you when it’s convenient. The user has very little boundaries and is very in tune to certain people who love to help or to have a hard time saying no. As a result, the user exploits their friend boil tea and desire to be needed. The fakers’ bakeries are the most toxic friends you can have simply because the entire friendship is reliant on their personal gain shakers have a tendency of having an overly inflated ego with a fragile sense of self. As such faker’s garner friendships with people who they gain less than themselves for example, a faker will defend someone who they deem to be less attractive than them to draw more attention from other fakers have no boundaries will become defensive if you call them out on their malicious behavior in the end. The friending of baker is toxic and can result in negative emotional turmoil of the three types of bad friends, mentioned the unaware are the only people that you may want to consider keeping as threatens the users and fakers. However, are emotionally toxic relationships that need to be severed a friendship can sometimes be arduous and like a breakup severing a friendship requires one to be direct if possible.
Try to meet face to face in the neutral location use this as an opportunity to set or reinforce your boundaries with an unaware friend so that you too can remain friends for your friend who is either a user or a faker this is your opportunity to let them know that you no longer see them as a friend. And that this is the last time you will be spending time together you can tell them how you’ve been hurt by certain situations but do not be surprised if the user or the faker does not respond sympathetically or with remorse building a friendship is tough. Maintaining a friendship is far more difficult although being in a friendship puts you in a vulnerable position sometimes being in these positions teach us more about life and about ourselves. However, if you are going to take the chance of being vulnerable with another person please make sure that person respects and reciprocates that vulnerability.