For once in my life, I wanted to escape to reality. I want to be in the world that I always dreamed of. I want to be in a place where I never had to think about the difficulties I experienced in the real world. I want to be part of my fantasy where I don’t think about financial difficulties, my family that I’m responsible for taking care of, my studies and everything that makes it hard for me to do what rich people experience- those who don’t need to work hard for their future since they are secured.

This is the usual thoughts I have whenever I am alone or most of the time every night before I sleep. Like what I am doing right now. I took a deep breath and wipe the tears that keep on flowing on my cheeks while watching my innocent young brothers and sisters sleeping — who at this age need to do household chores and study hard for their future instead of just enjoying their childhood life.

In a moment, my thoughts begin to fade and later fall asleep. I know, I’m not the one who hopes to stay in a beautiful dream. To escape the survival reality I am in and just got stuck in my fantasy.

Here, I am at the center of attraction. I am a beautiful woman in the place. I don’t need to study from time to time. I don’t need to think about my family. What I only need to do is to relax, think of what I wanted to do and imagine how my life will go on in my own fantasy.

Here, my ideal guy exist. I can make him fall in love with me or what more is I can marry him as much as I wanted. It happens that I am in control of my dream. The man I love is with me and were in paradise. Until I heard a voice somewhere far away. A voice of someone important in my life more than the person in front of me who is just part of my imagination. Someone keeps on waking me up from my dream world. Since I am in control I can decide whether to go or not. I don’t want to regret but I wanted to escape to reality for once and for real. If I stay here I will be saved from burden in the real world and I can be here forever with my dream guy. In exchange, I will never wake up in the real world and I will die. If I leave this paradise and wake up I will be back to normal and will need to work hard, really hard to survive with my family.

Poetic justice is that I ended up continuing my usual life. Even if it is hard I needed to fight in order to survive in reality. I just realize that I am selfish enough to let my innocent brother fight for his own without me.