pensive is a poem written by Rhuther Jon Payales and shared with The Ugly Writers under the theme Trust The Process for the month of November
pensive
days of melancholy and coffee stains,
nights of drowning in puddles of mud—
a heart made up of white silk
everyday, wanting it to rain
with notions of walking barefoot
on wet asphalt; lying down
on a patch of wet, green grass
yet doing it alone seems like
the most difficult thing to endure
because a deaf man, such as myself
starts to hear the eternal downpour;
little trickles, like sharp notes
from a music box, hitting a sandcastle heart
and it pours, it accumulates and it pours again
by then wishing it is of cobblestone
because a blind man, such as myself
starts to see it flowing away, to the littlest granule,
the absence of light, clearer than it ever will be
myself, becoming mute; losing a voice only used
for whispers that seem like screams,
like pleads from a voiceless man;
moving mouths with nothing to hear
nothing to sense, nothing to gain
and by then, a man who has lost
all that he has ever sensed,
all the nothingness he is sensing
and all the droplets of rain he has yet to sense
will still be lying down alone,
imagining a life of rain as it is
hoping for rain
wishing for rain
praying for rain
or for it to stop
pen·sive
/ˈpensiv/
adjective
Dictionary.com
- dreamily or wistfully thoughtful: a pensive mood.
- expressing or revealing thoughtfulness, usually marked by some sadness: a pensive adagio.
