Retiring, a Guide for Everyone is a short stories is written by Tim Clark and is shared with The Ugly Writers
I’ve been retired for 3 ½ months. Since I am a quick learner, I feel I am almost an expert. Sure, I’m still picking my way through the tangled wreckage of the world, post-employment. There Is no “Retirement for Dummies,” no Idiot’s Guide, no road maps, no soggy, stained barroom napkins with a bar graph and cryptic, bulleted list that somehow crystalizes into a bright, clear path to peace and happiness in the middle of the night, so when you wake up in the morning you can march into a future filled with tranquility and smiling, joyful bliss.
No, no golden secrets are waiting for you at the end of the rainbow. Nobody is going to stop you as you wander aimlessly through the grocery store and say, “here’s what you need to do.”
That’s why I’m here today.
You should find a hobby. Something that brings you peace. If you don’t smile a little thinking about it, find something else.
I took up whittling, wood carving, sort of. I don’t really know how they’re different. Wood carving sounded so much more sophisticated, that’s the one I normally used. I wasn’t any good at it, but it made me happy. I had to stop when the doctor put me on blood thinners. It wasn’t so much fun I was willing to risk bleeding to death. I cut myself shaving, a tiny little nick, right on my chin, it took hours to stop. As a senior citizen, I recommend pottery or ceramics.
I like to write, again, it makes me happy. Another thing I’m not very good at, but it won’t kill me, probably. It’s not for everybody, though. It takes a special kind of fool to spend a few hours stringing words together into what passes for sentences, thoughts, themes, confessions (sort of) and let people look at them. It’s even worse when you think nobody is looking at them. In the words of Nick Cave:
“I thought of my friends who had died of exposure,
And I remembered other ones
Who had died from the lack of it.”
I’m afraid I was one who was dying from the lack of it. It never stopped me though; I kept writing and sending and posting and hoping. To this day I’m waiting for recognition, but only the good kind. Not the bad kind, where angry people tell me I’m wrong, even when I’m wrong. Which is often.
Yesterday, I started a new hobby, working at a Big Lots store. It’s actually several hobbies wrapped up in one. I can walk to work, a little nod to my doctor and my cardiologist, and all the nurses and doctors and lab technicians who took such gentle care of me. Plus, I will get to meet new people, learn about new ideas and find unique and novel ways to see the world. Everybody has a story. Sometimes it’s only a look, a passing glance from a homeless person, “put yourself in my shoes.”
Sometimes it’s all wrapped up in one short, profound, painful sentence.
“I used to have dreams.”
You have to be willing to listen to them all. And as a senior citizen you can probably spare the time.
During the pandemic I discovered I wasn’t an introvert. Crowds and people and chaos are tonic. Swirling motion and mayhem, the kaleidoscopic spectrum of human madness playing out in a store specializing in closeout and overstock merchandise. In the short time I was there yesterday, I found the episode cathartic, and refreshing. They embrace their identity, with slogans and logos and catchy phrases. “Live Big, Save Lots,” is my favorite so far. It is entertainment marketed as merchandise. So far, I’m not really a part of it, still an outsider, sill the new guy, with the great hair. But someday…
Retirement is a chore, and you should see it as a challenge, something to keep you moving. You don’t have to worry though. I’m here for you. All you need to do is ask.
Read more from Tim Clark by visiting his website at Life, Explained or by checking out his previous write-ups here at The Ugly Writers.
