When a judgmental comment makes its way to my lips and can tell the condition of my heart is failing, I reel it back in. I reel it in. All of it. Stop myself in my tracks. Those words I am ready to share do not encourage.
My heart continues to melt more than I wish it would. When loved ones hurt deeply, when sickness invades a body, when relationships fail, when joy and sorrow abound.
The other kind soul, worried and analyzed what they had said to me, concerned that what was conveyed wouldn’t be received with the love it was intended. It wasn’t only received with love, it was treasured.
As the days grow longer and the night become shorter, I am starting to get a hang of reality. But which reality am I getting a hang of? The act of pulling me out of my routine and throwing me into this black void is scary.
The people who will love you, encourage you, guide you, support you and even lovingly rebuke you. They will also be the ones that say- Your GPS is wrong. Turn around. Go back to where you were. Try again. Don’t give up.
I have nowhere to go
No one to go with.
The days seemed darker.
The night drags longer.
Throughout my life, I have found myself missing people, missing places, and sometimes even missing things. Sometimes a physical absence from someone you care about occurs because of a move. Other times, a loved one has passed away. I have found myself missing a place or location where fun times were had. A vacation location,…
The moment you came through the doors. I couldn’t even look you in the eyes. You wore a solemn look on your face and we avoided each others’ gazes. We stood at least a feet apart at all times, ensuring that we don’t touch. It’s like as if all these empty space was not enough…
And then I think of all of those times silent forgiveness has been extended to me. Those times I have done or said things that have hurt and offended others. Sometimes I have hurt others without even being aware that I have done so.
She danced for 10 years and travelled everywhere competing. She decided her dancing days were done and took up the clarinet. Her exposure to music through dance and movement and her ability to sight read music enabled her to learn at twice the pace as everyone else.
Relationships are freaking hard. And it’s not because I’m necessarily speaking from experience. This is based purely on observation. Good relationships, bad relationships – all of them are HARD.
It’s a new year and you know what that means. The resolutions. The promises. The inevitable disappointment. Leaves be turning so much I start looking out for Aang.