One-Woman Resistance Movement to Hookup Culture

Meeting new people without exerting that much effort just yet is made easy; thanks to social media and dating apps where we take to. Men and women sign up for an account, create a profile, upload photos, and proceed with the fundamentals of online dating. Whatever setup both parties establish beyond the brief getting to know stage is basically conceivable — unspeakable in some cases wherein certain things can be justified as consensual. This is the hookup culture widely thriving more than we care to admit.

Online dating has been around since the mIRC and Yahoo! Messenger era. This is nothing new of course now that we have Tinder, Skout, and OKCupid to name a few. The demand for such trend has increased over the years; people quickly adapted the upper hand of general convenience, managing multiple matches, discerning compatibility, and preferred anonymity. While there are advantages, people who pool themselves in are at risk of being deceived by false declarations and sketchy intents. Everyone has a leverage to turn online dating into one-night stands or if they are lucky enough — well-meaning relationships. This modern mode of dating is an undeniable deal of several trials-and-errors and it shows how technology can bring people together and apart. As someone who belongs to twenty-something hopeless romantics demographic, I also have had my firsthand experience in this fast-paced, aggressive, and unrelenting environment of online dating.

It was in mid-2016 when I decided I was ready to give online dating a shot before spinster age could make it awkward. One dilemma I have encountered since I joined a particular dating site is the inevitable suffering from chauvinistic prejudice that women who mingle on such virtual realms are hard to be taken seriously. Every now and then, I receive unsolicited comments from men which mostly test my quickness to react intelligently. Defending myself by responding to burning questions as to why I joined is necessary; and these unapologetic rebuttals include but not limited to: my self-entitlement to meet someone my own caliber/wavelength, my prerogative and liberation as an adult, and simply going digital with the idea of soulmate just for kicks.

Indeed, it is raining men — foreigners and locals, men in their twenties up to other men in their forties or fifties, the good-looking ones and those who weren’t proud of revealing their faces, skilled icebreakers and plain conversationalists, and the great divide between sex perverts and rare decent ones.  Almost every chance is a litmus test and the first few minutes of every new conversation are always crucial. Such onset is the finite period where both parties determine whether it is a good click and worth another day of conversation, or to move on and try luck with the next random person. And in the course of wanting to chance upon that special random citizen who cannot compare to anyone I know from my various circles, I found myself one. I found him. We had a relationship or at least I had a relationship with him. Left alone and upset, things did not happen my way no matter my struggle and resolution.

It was not too long ago that I returned to the same dating app after the ordeal. And despite of it all, I continue to embrace the gift of technology and pronounce my resistance to the hookup culture.

Hooking up is hardly designed to be something wherein sincerity and pure intentions can be invested. How sad it is to observe that there are people who prefer temporary attachments over the long-lasting ones. And when they figure out that playing around gets tiresome and senseless at a certain point, that is when they will feel remorse about their actions only to drive themselves back to flat zero. Another search begins nonetheless.

My little faith echoes a kind reminder or an inner message of some sort that someone out there is seeking me in every person he meets. There is that someone existing somewhere. We will meet and tell ourselves that we want each other’s presence over time and not just over the weekends. We will hold hands and mutually agree that we are just too good for hookups.

Hookups are fleeting and bound to end up in the dumpsters but real relationships are much more worth every second. As opposed to lust, sense of intimacy is a good indication that we are on the right track. Being in love is one of the best immaterial things in life we can cave in. We feel it and just plummet to a free fall, then down onto the proverbial magic carpet for a diamond sky ride. A soaring, tumbling, free-willing emotion we can turn into something strictly personal. Something we can validate. Something true.

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ramengonecold
"You left me standing still, hence I have gone cold upon your return." ramengonecold is the proud lucky thirteenth member of The Ugly Writers, struggling to write about love and anything that can get everyone high. Will pen any situation and state of mind as they occur. Blunt and straightforward but benevolent nonetheless. INTJ. Leonine. Turophile. Sapporo-style ramen fan. An Oxford comma user with no regrets.
Articles: 12

23 Comments

  1. AMPARO, KATHLEEN JOY G.
    CIV 151

    Dating app really sucks. Some of guys were pervert and stubborn to have a one night stand. SMH

  2. I understand what you feel about dating apps Kathleen Joy, and I’m sorry to hear that. How sad it is to say that the world of online dating is full of scammers and sex predators on the prowl, but it does not mean that 100 percent of online daters have shady intentions. I can vouch for the truth that there are others like me who have a wholesome and sincere purpose of joining the hype that is online dating.

    As a woman like you, I admire your vigilance and critical decision-making. We make choices in life and I respect yours. Thank you for taking time to read my writeup.

    We say yes to monogamy and traditional courtship after online encounter. 😉

  3. People who are using online dating applications have their own intentions and we can say goals to achieve. Some are just plainly looking for hookup but there are some who are still in the verge of finding someone that matches their individuality. These online dating apps of sites can offer you so much, but it is all up to the user on how to deal with it and have the success in finding that someone. It only become a hookup if you let nasty things happen during your first meeting and then later on either of the parties realizes that it is not what they really want. So you move on go the apps and look for that someone again.

    You can like and be liked on these online dating apps but how certain are we that we can love and be loved by these people in the said apps?

    You can use these apps to meet someone and it’s up to both of the parties how to keep the communication to establish a good foundation of your relationship.

    At the end of the day, you yourself will decide if youll continue using the apps after a couple of encounters if it did satisfy yourself.

  4. SECTION: ECE152

    GROUP: ROAD TO 4.0

    What I’ve seen so far from the internet is that, majority of the male demography in these dating apps/sites are very vulgar, explicit, or in worse cases, they sexually harass the female users. Although I myself have not experienced using these services. In some hook-ups there are some cases that the other party will be subtly coerced to have sex, the phrase “date rape” steps in, where the guy/girl for example gives lots of gifts the partner then has a sense of “guilt” because of the gifts which makes him/her, in some cases, more likely to have sex. In conclusion, the world of online is similar to Schrödinger’s cat, you never know whether who you’re meeting with is genuine or a lie.

  5. TEAM RIZALISTIC

    In my own opinion, I think filipinos doesn’t think that hook ups is not a bad thing to do because Rizal our national hero do hook ups. So why can’t ordinary filipino people do hook ups? They think that hook ups give them satisfaction. That’s why they do it. In dating other people depended on social media because they know or wish someone out there was the precious one that can love them patiently and impatiently. And also just to have fun.
    Hook ups are just for those who are desperate or those who need to satisfy themselves, mentally or sexually. It’s just like in Rizal’s time, some people do it because they just want someone or something to satisfy them and some people do it because rare just abusing their powers. It’s lame. We all know that it only provides temporary happiness and pleasure. I just happen to believe that hooking up has been over-hyped and is probably one of the worst places to find someone to have a relationship with. For me it is okay. It’s okay as long as you know your limits and you will use protection. Hooking up is just the same thing as meeting new people but it gives the person an intant mindset of what to do with the other person. Many people right now uses online dating app for this and all i can say it is okay. It is their private life and also it is their own risk so why do people have to stop it for people who wants to do it. Nowadays people are so into this for their own personal reasons maybe it ls their way of realising stress or for fun and i can see no problem to that because u have to understand that people does not have the same opinion and the same perspective all the time. You don’t know what satisfaction it gives to others. I also get that in our generation a lot of people are getting pregnant with the young age and it’s fault for not using protection and not being aware of what they’re doing. Instead of having a movement to stop this thing why not have all the schools talk about this matter. This is normal. It is our culture and it is okay.

  6. TEAM RIZALISTIC

    In my own opinion, I think filipinos doesn’t think that hook ups is not a bad thing to do because Rizal our national hero do hook ups. So why can’t ordinary filipino people do hook ups? They think that hook ups give them satisfaction. That’s why they do it. In dating other people depended on social media because they know or wish someone out there was the precious one that can love them patiently and impatiently. And also just to have fun.
    Hook ups are just for those who are desperate or those who need to satisfy themselves, mentally or sexually. It’s just like in Rizal’s time, some people do it because they just want someone or something to satisfy them and some people do it because rare just abusing their powers. It’s lame. We all know that it only provides temporary happiness and pleasure. I just happen to believe that hooking up has been over-hyped and is probably one of the worst places to find someone to have a relationship with. For me it is okay.

  7. It’s just like in Rizal’s time, some people do it because they just want someone or something to satisfy them and some people do it because rare just abusing their powers. It’s lame. We all know that it only provides temporary happiness and pleasure. I just happen to believe that hooking up has been over-hyped and is probably one of the worst places to find someone to have a relationship with. For me it is okay. It’s okay as long as you know your limits and you will use protection. Hooking up is just the same thing as meeting new people but it gives the person an intant mindset of what to do with the other person. Many people right now uses online dating app for this and all i can say it is okay. It is their private life and also it is their own risk so why do people have to stop it for people who wants to do it. Nowadays people are so into this for their own personal reasons maybe it ls their way of realising stress or for fun and i can see no problem to that because u have to understand that people does not have the same opinion and the same perspective all the time. You don’t know what satisfaction it gives to others. I also get that in our generation a lot of people are getting pregnant with the young age and it’s fault for not using protection and not being aware of what they’re doing. Instead of having a movement to stop this thing why not have all the schools talk about this matter. This is normal. It is our culture and it is okay.

  8. team rizalistic

    It’s just like in Rizal’s time, some people do it because they just want someone or something to satisfy them and some people do it because rare just abusing their powers. It’s lame. We all know that it only provides temporary happiness and pleasure. I just happen to believe that hooking up has been over-hyped and is probably one of the worst places to find someone to have a relationship with. For me it is okay. It’s okay as long as you know your limits and you will use protection. Hooking up is just the same thing as meeting new people but it gives the person an intant mindset of what to do with the other person. Many people right now uses online dating app for this and all i can say it is okay. It is their private life and also it is their own risk so why do people have to stop it for people who wants to do it. Nowadays people are so into this for their own personal reasons maybe it ls their way of realising stress or for fun and i can see no problem to that because u have to understand that people does not have the same opinion and the same perspective all the time. You don’t know what satisfaction it gives to others. I also get that in our generation a lot of people are getting pregnant with the young age and it’s fault for not using protection and not being aware of what they’re doing. Instead of having a movement to stop this thing why not have all the schools talk about this matter. This is normal. It is our culture and it is okay.

  9. ECE 152 – Lovely’s Group

    It’s better to meet someone personally rather meeting someone online. Meeting someone online or on dating sites can be dangerous because you will never be sure of the person you’re talking to.

    It’s better to meet someone and get to know them more personally because being with them is more than just typing in front of your computer or cellphone.

    There’s nothing wrong trying online dating apps but you should be aware of its consequences like scam, cyber crime and posers. You should not depend on social media when it comes to relationships.

  10. Ablaza, Jian Jacob S.
    ARC131
    Sociology MQ2
    Ethnocentrism – she use the old school way of their culture

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