tools of change theuglywriters

Gifts and Perspective – The Tools of Change Part 4.9

C: – Tomorrow my Dread Boss is in all day until 13:30. I prepared by leaving as much work as I could, undone. So if he sneaks up behind my PC, I’ll be busy, hopefully all day.

Syl: –  😀 😀 What a Gift he is!!!

C: – Howso?

Syl: –  Haha, you tell me. 😀 😀 I mean, you choose him. Daily. 🙂

C: – Chance to remain calm, happy, peaceful no matter what his emotional state and behaviour. I choose a great company and job.

Syl: –  Yes. A most ideal practice partner. 🙂

C: – He’s just a minor part of the package.

Syl: –  Practice Partner: one where you are motivated to practice. He provides some pressure to change, toward Positivity. Otherwise the great company and job are all for nought. 🙂 So he is motivation to Change. That is a rare Gift. 🙂

C: – Maybe…

Syl: – That is another aspect of his giftness. In the Grand Scheme, he is minor. The benefits of Overview Perspective. But… he keeps you on your toes in regard to old habits. Those are always here, lurking, and can pounce at any moment. His Gift comes in the form of Perpetual Vigilance, which is ofc, Deliberate Awareness. And when we live deliberately thus… we bring Power into our lives. Power over ourselves, power over how we Respond. Power over how we are. The Power of Independence.

Syl: –  So…

Dread Boss is a great Gift. As is your partner. As is ofc everything in life. 🙂 <3 🙂 <3

C: – He he 🙂 <3 Being sick let me lose lots of weight!

Syl: –  Everything is a Gift in some way. 😀 😀 😀

C: – It’s fantastic. I don’t even mind that I’m sick.

Syl: –  Cool 🙂 🙂 The Power of Unrelenting Positivity. 😀 <3

C: – Well, “sick” or ‘detox’, as I prefer to call it.

Syl: –  Suddenly we see Gifts everywhere. We live in a World of Gifts. How can one not be Unrelentingly Positive in a World like this? 😀 <3

C: – Maybe…

Syl: –  Haha 🙂 So reluctant to take a stance.

The Gifts are of our Making. That is the essential Perspective. Same as energy. It is neutral in and of itself. It is how we use it that determines its State of Being.

*

C: – My partner had a business idea for leveraging their current situation in a different way. At first I showed interest, but not enthusiasm. Because I was concerned if they want to leave a good salary to go do this (untested). But when that turned out to be a longer-term plan – to run their own company – on reflection, it seemed a better idea.

Syl: –  Cool yeah. Sometimes these ideas are a kind of an Idea Game. It is the thinking of them that is the fun. Not always do they necessarily mean that action will be taken. But the game is to do as if.

C: – So, knowing how they’re so touchy and quick to say I don’t support this or that, I realised some selective emphasis would probably be appropriate. So I texted this:

“Most enterprising!”

And this:

“May it go well.”

Syl: –  Most excellent.  🙂 🙂

C: – And I got back this…

“Thanks. I appreciate your support.”

Syl: –  😀 😀 <3

C: – Empathy appropriately applied, I believe.

Syl: –  Yes. That is always the key. Empathy is tricky, because when it degenerates into commiseration, then it simply aggravates. 🙂  Or exacerbates, condones, entrenches.

C: – Syl – Today 19:12:

> Cool yeah. Sometimes these ideas are a kind of an Idea Game. It is the thinking of them that is the fun. Not always do they necessarily mean that action will be taken. But the game is to do as if.<

Spot on! My anxious response (in the past) to their ideas has resulted in them saying I don’t let them enjoy the dream.

Syl: –  Yeah. It is a hope based game. 🙂 Believing that it could be. And through the realistic undertaking of it, it is tested out in some way. Then the reasons why not, come gently if they are there. Even if in the end it’s simply the reason of too much effort. But it’s gentle. An also, sooner or later one works out. 🙂

C: – I see.

Syl: –  And…

C: – Ya I used to at once feel threatened by the pitfalls I’d see. Because our well-being is linked.

Syl: –  It is a low-risk way of feeling competent, able, successful etc. It is a step, like training wheels, these ideas. A low-risk way of accomplishing. But it is also Awesome in the Grand Scheme. Because they all involve learning in some way. Especially self-knowledge. 🙂

Yes, the pitfalls are for your partner to discover. Gently. 🙂

C: – Yes, for them to discover. I shall practice at that.

Syl: –  In these instances, Leading-by-Walking-Backwards can be most Appropriate.

C: – Hmmm?

Syl: –  If I am walking backwards, and someone thinks that they are doing the pushing, but I am determining where we are going, it is leading by going backwards. It is a perceptual perspective iow. 🙂

So… in instances of the ideas, let’s say you do see many pitfalls. You know they are there, and you know saying so will cause problems. So… you go into the idea, with enthusiasm. Adopt it as a good idea. And then get into it and explore all the aspects of it, “as if,” and ofc, you know where the pitfalls and probs are, so this exploration will bring those up. But you are allowing them to surface with a positive approach. You are leading the way to them, but doing so by following their idea. Going into the idea with enthusiasm in order to highlight its problems. Doing the opposite to arrive at where you want. Leading by Walking Backwards. Very Potent. 🙂

*

C: – Oh wow, I just remembered a small comment I made to them this morning, which may have had a positive impact…

It started with them expressing feelings – which I wanted, but didn’t say so. I said: “Feeling really down today. Don’t know why.”

Syl: –  Ah interesting, I’m listening…

C: – Me: “Oh dear……(and similar). It’ll pass”

Then I said something funny and got a laugh

Them: “Had nightmares last night.”

Syl: –  YAY!!!! Most Awesome. Laughter is so so so so Powerful. It is, when pure laughter, the laughter of joy, always Appropriate.

C: – That, in the past, would herald victimhood and negativity.

Then, some distraction…

I asked about some practical mundane details.

Syl: –  Most most cool Overview Perspective – that’s what’s happening. So so so Powerful Most most cool 🙂 😀

C: – Then, the small comment:

“I’m sure your achievements still to come today will lift your spirits”

(It was morning)

Syl: –  😀 🙂

C: – That was sobriety, not false cheerfulness. Just realistic optimism. And there, they did have an achievement today! Positive expectation? What do you think?

Syl: –  Yes yes yes. Sobriety is most most Positive. 🙂 And yes. When we have a general Perspective and Expectation of Positivity, we use Confirmation Bias to our benefit. It is a most sophisticated maneuvre. And that is where Selective Emphasis is so powerful. We never forget or become completely unaware of the possibilities. We simply create a different World for ourselves with our Unrelenting Positivity, and our Choice to focus is this way. It is ofc, the only Ethical Way-to-Be imho.

C: – Cool.

Syl: –  <3 🙂 It all fits together. 🙂

C: – Another friend, who knows I was sick, just asked: “How are you feeling?”

I said: “Delighted! Been losing weight at twice the rate, being sick. :D”

Syl: –  🙂 The World does not work in the way we have come to believe. It works in a much more exciting magical way, in a way that is much influenced by our Way-of-Being. 🙂

We shape our world, we colour it in. And this is a Profound Point. When we realise we are determiners of our own world, it is a fantastic responsibility, and opportunity, and ofc, a Gift. And that is where the Ethics of it come into play. How can we NOT shape a Positive World around us?

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