And The Song Played On

Published by Prescilla Gusto on

the ugly writers

And The Song Played On

It was just another workday. I was expecting it to be as mundane as the others before it. However, while in the car, a song, THAT song, played on the radio. Funny how a song could bring back memories of what could have been. I tried in vain to stop them but the floodgates have been opened. And there was no stopping the deluge of flashbacks I thought I had buried all these years.

We were high school friends. He was a smart guy. He was tall, lanky and not handsome. But he had this quiet calmness, a steady personality which complements a fiery Arian. Silly me, I didn’t notice. I was pining away for those campus heartthrobs who could burn the dance floor. I never had a clue that he liked me back then.

He went back to his hometown for college. But every school break, he would come back to Manila. We would talk on the phone for hours about everything and nothing. This was when I got the feeling that I was special to him. I found myself looking forward to these school breaks.

Life took over after graduation. I was ready to conquer the world. We lost touch and I had never really thought about him. But sometimes, he would cross my mind. There was one time he asked me out and I could not go. I was out of town and he was in Manila for a short time. Darn. The stars were not aligning for us.

I saw him next at a friend’s wedding. We talked a lot, trying to catch up. He was still the same calm and steady person, I was still the fiery Arian. But we were older and wiser. Life and its hardships were now part of who we are. We were both playing our cards close to our hearts. But in the deepest part of my soul, I was hoping that this could be our time. But he said nothing about love and feelings and such stuff.

In that friend’s child’s christening, I saw him again. This time he was not alone. He was with his girlfriend. I was completely taken off guard. We were doing this dance since we were kids and now he’s with someone else! I tried to keep it together until after the ceremony then I immediately went home. I think he married this girl and now have kids. I am not sure. I blocked him from Facebook. That is how hurt I was. Still am.

As I look back after all these years, I cannot help but wonder. Was I wrong in interpreting the signals? Did I put meanings to things when there weren’t any? I will never know the answer. All I have left are questions and a good measure of regret for something that could have turned out to be beautiful. All I have are memories of a love that never was.

And the song on the radio played on.

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