I, sometimes feel that moving on and getting on with life without you in it scares the hell out of me.
The feeling of being unwanted, the feeling of being unloved and the feeling of waking up each and everyday seeing the space beside me empty, makes me feel melancholic and different.
The memories of us talking all night, holding hands, hugging each other when the night gets cold, the sleepless nights whenever one of us are not feeling well, the time we just sit beside each other as we stare blankly on a starless night makes my heart ache and fills me with so much longing.
Now, the space between us is as wide as the empty street I walk during rainy days. It feels like you are just here holding me with an umbrella over our heads, keeping me warm, safe and protected. But suddenly here I am walking this long dark corners of the road, still wishing that I am embraced by your warmth and kisses.
I am struggling to keep myself sane, but knowing that I need to let you go was the hardest thing my heart could ever take. Allowing myself to wallow in this thing called sadness, basking in the emptiness that’s been eating me since you walked out through that door.
Was it scary for you too? Have you ever think that the spaces between your fingers are incomplete now that we’ve gone our separate ways? Was it hard to wake up each day without the cuddles and the kisses we shower each other? Or, being able to let go of someone makes you embrace your long lost freedom.
Sometimes, I think that this is the best way for us. But, it always keeps me wondering if You will ever come back, comes running back to what we had, what we always had. This is me wishing and praying to the One up there that He let you run along, be free, be happy, be loved, be amazing and be the guy everyone dreams about. One day, we may be able to see each other with a smile plastered on our faces, holding each others hands, be it us together or be it us, with a different forever.