To the guy who was never mine…

     I guess this is the time to say goodbye… I remember someone asked me, “How can you break up with someone, who was never yours in the first place?” A difficult question -a mind boggling one. And so I asked myself, how can I? Like, how am I supposed to say “Let’s call it off”, since we were never been “on”? I thought all the while we were or I was in a relationship with you, but then, like just some joke, I’m the only one who knew I was…

     While there was a one sided-feeling, deep in my mind I was hoping… Hoping that it’ll turn out the way I want. Because in reality, I wasn’t officially yours. The hardest part also was that, I have been faithful to you. I was exclusively yours. Well, let’s just say, I intend to be exclusively dating you, closed my doors to others, since I haven’t been open to dating them because I have you. Just in case we have the same interpretation of our situation. I happened to stay that way for you. 
     

     And why can’t that be? Since we did things like most couples do; we argued like a couple, treated each other special, both of us felt jealous at times, we shared some intimate moments, and yet in the end, I mistakenly identified myself as your so-called better half.
     

     Years have passed, and still, we both acted this way. We’re still in an open relationship as what I can describe it to be. You’ve found convenience of not putting any label on us… You got so comfortable this way, without even thinking of how I would exactly feel… I let this thing go on, and it was my mistake to continuously stay and be the right woman for you… 

     And again, why wouldn’t I be? I am a woman. I’m not desperate, but I am a woman capable of loving wholeheartedly, understanding everything, supporting you in every way I can. Because at my age, playing games is not an option. 

I don’t hide my feelings. I let it pour. I let it flow, let it be felt and share it…That’s what I’m capable of… That’s how I am built…
     

     And so I realized, I don’t have to beg for love and commitment… It should be given freely – no pressure, no worries and no fears; not scared of anything nor be haunted by the past mistakes we did out of love… It is just given as it is— you can genuinely see and can genuinely feel it… I don’t need a man who falls short of my expectations; a coward or a man one who always put himself on the safe side…

And so now… now that we’ve decided to end this, I still can’t say “Let’s break up!”…

Because there was never an US to begin with…

Ms. Taciturn

Ms. Taciturn

I am decisively indecisive. A paradox. A woman.

Articles: 15

10 Comments

  1. 5
    So relatable. Although this is not exactly what happened to “us” but still the amount of pain is equal… or… maybe mine’s a little more painful

  2. This article is so heart-felt. Let me share this, It may so have happend that I loved a man although I am not a woman. I have felt the same pain being treated so special that friends nor bestfriends won’t do, without the thing called “US” or a “LABEL” that they say. Is it really important? For me, It was. IT was really important to have that so that we will know the limitations. But thank you for making me feel this way, for showing me and teaching me on how to be real with myself. THANK YOU because you LOVED me the way I am.
    -ARMEL JETAJOBE, CIV151

  3. “How can you break up with someone, who was never yours in the first place?” ?

  4. Magos, Jasan Denise – MAR 142
    Non – material (Implicit)
    The kind of culture under Implicit is knowledge (Love)
    Diff. title: Label.

  5. Balisi, Marynel C. (Mar142)
    -Implicit (non material)
    -Knowledge
    -“Ascertain the brand” people nowadays forget to determine the label because of the feelings but once they get hurt that was the time thay can establish the real score.

  6. Labayne, Abigail D.
    MAR 142
    1. Implicit/ Non Material
    2. Knowledge
    3. Fairytale love

  7. Olveda, Madel P. (MAR142)
    1. Implicit
    2. Culture: Knowledge
    3. Different title: Love-games

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