letting go theuglywriters

Letting Go and New Beginnings

2017 is over. Just like that. It felt like I was in a Netflix series, I’m the protagonist and another season is over, ready to start a new one. A new one full of lessons, experiences, and choices that I’m about to make.

How was my 2017? It was all about losing some and gaining some. I decided to let go of the people who made me feel like I’m hard to love. It was all about loving the sound of my footsteps walking away from the things that I know is not for me. Letting go of the toxic people in my life has to be one of the most difficult choices for me. Because sometimes no matter how much you love those people, or how badly you want to save your relationship with them, you have to know when to cut ties to protect yourself. You will be left with a few but trust me, they’re more than enough. It was all about giving importance to the people that never left me through my extreme highs and lows. It was a year full of wrong choices, blessings in disguise, intoxication, sleepless nights, mental breakdowns, emotionally-wrecking nights, toxic people, and toxic society… I even had to let go of a toxic relationship, and that’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. Meeting the right person at the wrong time is always bittersweet, I had to let go of that relationship because I am aware that I still need to work on myself before loving anyone. I’ve seen a lot of people waiting for their plot twists to come before 2018. Plot twists are overrated. Only cheap stories rely on the unexpected to keep a story interesting. and I have to say.. not all plot twists are about finding someone to love, sometimes it’s losing one.

My 2017 was full of realizations. Realizing my worth, realizing the things that I am worth so much more. Realizing that I have my own island to take on, that I should be the one who’s in charge of where I am heading and which path I am going to take. Realizing that I shouldn’t settle for less than what I deserve and most importantly that I shouldn’t settle for anything or anyone that’s merely temporary and fleeting. It’s all about going out of my comfort zone and taking risks. Realizing that if there are some toxic people in my life, maybe I am the toxic person in someone else’s life and that’s totally acceptable. And of course, I should stop acting like it’s okay when people hurt me. I should learn how to distance myself from such because I realized that some people don’t deserve it. And lastly, my favorite realization… God broke me down this year and built me back up stronger than before… and that’s some real love. So I will look at 2017 not as a year of pain but a year of growth. It was a year full of twists and turns, but look where I am. I made it despite all the hardships.

I will bounce back this 2018. I’m going to take this chance to welcome a new start. This year, I will let intuition be my compass, let my soul be unafraid  to fly in whatever direction the universe will take me, and let the love I have for myself show others how I deserve to be loved. I hope 2018 is going to be a good story to tell, with meaningful character development, high risks, a plot that flows logically, and a satisfying conclusion. And I’m not going to lie to myself, or to you guys. My 2018 will be full of heartaches, red cups, somber nights, drunk dancing and more wrong decisions. But that just means more lessons, more adventures, and more risks. And I will be happy. I will not make a promise but I’ll do my best to become a better version everyday. Let’s not lose our light in the darkness no matter how little it flickers.