I desperately wanted to like Bobby. Afterall, most of us go through life searching for Mr. Right so we can get to that big ass dream wedding. I’ve always imagined mine to be on a beach somewhere in Cebu. It would be everything but traditional as my guests could wear anything they want. Heck, I’d be wearing a brown hippie dress and I’d have alcohol served during the ceremony. When I walk down the aisle, I don’t want an overplayed love song. I want Franco’s Better Days or Brighter Than Sunshine by Aqualung. Nowadays it’s acceptable to say “I met him online”. I remember a time when that can’t be said without judgement. Our conversation began with Black Mirror and to a sci-fi fanatic, it meant he had potential. If he likes the tragic universe the show revolves upon, it gave me the idea that we could work out. He commented on my post about San Junipero. It seemed like he understood what that place meant for me. I have written several things about that virtual town as it has recently become my Neverland. I believe that if I can’t fall happily in love here, maybe I would be given another shot there just like Kelly and Yorkie.
I made the first move. I sent him a message introducing myself and I asked about his day. We spent hours discussing fiction, literature and music. We geeked out to Stranger things, Haruki Murakami and our love for 90’s alternative music. Somewhere between IQ 84’s ending and Push by Matchbox 20, everything felt right. I asked about his job and to my suprise, even that I could relate to. Before my career shift, I had been in the BPO industry for 11 years. When he told me about the pressure to hit targets, the undending graveyard shift and team issues he constantly deals with, I understood him. I found it sweet that on our first morning, he recorded a song as a way to greet me when I woke up. He wasn’t really a singer but what mattered was the effort he gave in studying the chords and lyrics of “Name” by Goo Goo Dolls just because I liked how sad the song was.
I have been talking to him for a month before he decided to ask me out. Talking to him became part of my daily routine. My schedule is always swamped so he had to plan this right and let me know in advance to make it happen. I could tell he was nervous. In the middle of telling me about a poem he wrote and the book he’s working on about time travel, he nonchalantly threw the question. I agreed to meet him on his preselected date. Since he cooks and I’m a total klutz in the kitchen, I wanted him to make me a blueberry cheesecake while we watch the latest season of Black Mirror. He initially agreed to this plan but he ended asking me to drink with him instead. That wasn’t a problem as my tolerance level for alcohol is high.
To say that I prepared for the date is an understatement. I wore my black long sleeves, shorts and white shoes. My polo is the type that you would wear without anything underneath when it gets to game time. I also tried to fix my unruly hair which I don’t even do when I go to work. When I arrived at our bar, I immediately took control of the playlist. I wanted this date to be epic. He is reliable, smart and uncomplicated. I have been so used to dating the “wrong ones” so this was a welcome change from all the shit I’ve been through. Soon enough he sent me a text message asking for directions. I called him right away even if I have zero ability in guiding someone geographically. I have been going to this place for years but I still get lost every week. His voice was husky and he spoke really well. I felt that this was a sign that we would hit it off perfectly.
Our date was epic. I mean this in the most sarcastic way possible as I spent 4 hours trying to find the tiniest spark between us. I’m weird but I’m a genuinely warm person. I talk to strangers for a living so any topic you open, I can pretty much handle. He talked about his Disney impersonations and I should’ve told him that they weren’t funny. I practically drank 4 liters of beer just so I could put up with how boring he was. I asked hard hitting questions but he wouldn’t open up. He described himself as safe and plain, I couldn’t agree more with his self assessment. The whole time he was with me, he kept on looking at his watch until it came to a point that it annoyed me. I told him that if he needed to be elsewhere, he could leave.
This was probably one of the worst dates I’ve had in a long time. He only drank 1 bottle of beer and he never ordered food even if I told him that our chef is amazing. In the first 5 minutes that Jane sat with us, she automatically told me that we have no chance in hell. He seemed like the guy I could bring home to my mom but we have no fucking chemistry in person. Even if you pour gasoline, our personalities were so different that we wouldn’t be able to start a fire. You know what the worst part was? When it was time to pay for the bill, he gave me Php 200. Is that my “date rate” now that I’m 32? I’m not the type that asks for money as I have been independent for a long time but for fuck sake, if this was his way of impressing a girl, something is definitely wrong with his logic. I was disappointed and angry at myself. Even if he texted after he left, I never bothered to respond. Screw Mr. Right! What I’m looking for is someone who makes me feel alive. I want someone who is not afraid to loudly sing Urbandub’s First of Summer while he holds my hand and passionately kisses me. I need him to be good on paper, great in bed and with a sense of humor that matches his wit. I am certain of what I want and this is not the year that I will settle for anything less than what I deserve.
Listen to That’s What You Get by Paramore when you read this.