crawling back up

Crawling Back Up

There are good days and there are bad days but there is not a day where I don’t think of him.

As the days grow longer and the night become shorter, I am starting to get a hang of reality. But which reality am I getting a hang of? The act of pulling me out of my routine and throwing me into this black void is scary.

I tried to roll back into my old routine but I can’t. My new routine is not good for my purse either. My head has become clearer but nevertheless, there’s still some haze. This haze turns into a thick fog whenever I contact him.

What do I really want is a question I need to answer now.

What am I getting from contacting him?

What am I getting for doing this?

So many questions but I can’t answer any of them. They say time heals them all. But does it really? Or does it just push it all aside only to be uncovered when another tragedy arises?