I woke up to your absence, the quietness of the room, the void in our little space, the uncommon timidity in my pace.
I searched around in hopes to see it end. Hoping to feel your presence, yearning to see you resurface from wherever you were hiding, to put an end to this cringe feeling.
How wrong was I?
I saw your Foot prints, leaving a trail behind. Far away, I tracked the trail till I was embraced with a dead end.
When you decided to leave me, I guessed you had your mind made up that I was not what you looked for, not good enough for you.
When you Left me, you already had your path carved out and decided to take the other way, the obvious Exit.
When you left me, you placed an end to our banter and badinage, late-night sit-outs and living room late, late night shows with Corden and Ellen.
I still cannot fathom the reason you left me.
I can only conclude you did so for your insecurities.
I have my suspicions, of course. I know you probably did too. Recollecting the pieces together, I recall the unfamiliar stares that began to seem frequent. The cold glares that made me re-think my decisions.
I remember the last time we weren’t kind. The last time we cried too much, exposing what was so real and messy and true.
We are, somehow, maybe just a bit too…un-Matchable.
For when I’m overly pained and decide to take action, Impulsive or what-not, It won’t be planned out, unannounced in angry solidarity to girlfriends in a group chat and public gatherings.
When I summon the courage to move on, I’ll be alone in my living room, Next to my Play-Station, make you a rival and obliterate you every second of the way.
I linger for a moment on your pixelated smile, my stomach turning to ash.
I will breathe in and see your smile vanish, your laugh fade, your, your body dis-integrate, presence rare, your might obsolete replaced with a blank screen, displaying the banner of my achievement.
And there and then, you shall beg for a re-set, a chance to start all over, a new next-time to avoid a Next-time. But by then, its all a Far-Cry, I’ve moved on and bade you Fare well.