There is a place in my head I travel to in search of solace.
Today, I can’t find it.
I can feel the roots coiling themselves around my brain as though taking ownership. I have had the feeling for some time that something was growing inside and trying to possess every part of me, but it is the first time I have felt them in my head. Like thorny climbers threading their rampant paths, they are shutting down my havens one at a time, and I am left, blindly stumbling through a jungle of twisted vegetation trying to find a space to hide.
I sense the evil and can feel the poison injected by the thorny spines that penetrate, and the dark thoughts are closing in like thunderclouds preparing themselves for an apocalyptic finale, and I can’t find my shelter. I have tried to starve them but the bleakness and hopelessness of life seem to be the only sustenance they need.
The voices are new, they started this morning too, and I can hear the crackle of fire accompanying the devil’s whisper, “Get out there and bring some hell to their day.”
I know it’s him, who else would it be?
He has been with me for some time now, since childhood, and I have been fighting ever since. God knows I have tried to be good, but I don’t have any fight left now, and God isn’t here with me now.
I give myself over, surrender, and I feel the final flurries of growth, without resistance.
I feel powerful and in control for the first time in ages, and I have a purpose now. I open the front door and walk outside into the street, and the lightning starts, as do the screams.