the ugly writers

Surviving LDR

Long Distance Relationship, three simple words but connotes complexity. Why? Simply because it’s hard, and I think many would agree with me that when you are in this kind of relationship, the word itself is synonymous to difficult. This is because there are a lot of things you can do which is a necessity to make any relationship work. Actually, some would say that “it sucks.” You don’t get to be intimate with your partner, deny if we must, but it is essential when you would like to last long with a partner. A long distance relationship compensates to having more disadvantages than advantages. There’s more to lose than to gain. Statistics show that two out of ten survive. But why do people still continue to be in this kind of relationship when the probability is more to fail than to triumph? Why not embrace the inevitability of it not going to work, instead of enduring the pain that would later on constitute to separation. Why contest when you are not sure to be winning in the end. People are eaten up by paradox of life which if I may say functions quite well too many of us. I say this because I know how it feels like. I would understand how people in these kinds of relationships feel because I am in one. It is difficult to put it together. It is impossible to make it ordinary when it is not. What I wanted to say is that there are a lot of demands that this relationship calls out for. A lot of love, respect, time, communication and trust are needed to make it truly work. But when you hope, and believe that love is existent despite the distance, I think that you would be able to get through anytime including LDR. And for those who are trying to make it work; here are some pointers that might help you to keep your long-distance relationship into place.

Accept the fact. It gives you bliss to know that you love someone and that person loves you back. But what good does it do, if you are far way from each other. The idea of being away from the person you love is just appalling. Then again, when you are in LDR, you ought to accept the fact that you are far away from each other. You have to remember that for quite some time, there’ll be no touching, hugging, and kissing or if whatever ways of affection you do to show your partner how you love him/her. But, be mind of that everything is just temporary, and that you will be together soon.

Conquer the distance. This goes hand in hand with the latter. If you have accepted the fact, then you would try to find ways to ease the separation. If you can, then try to go to where he/she is at. This shows your sincerity of how much you wanted to be with that person. If can’t, then do yourself a favor, and resist from reminding your partner the limitations of your relationship, and how far apart you are from each other. Instead, try to conquer the distance by making him/her feel that he is just a  jeep away.

Get connected. In any relationship, close or far from each other, communication is essential. It is one of the ways to express the like and dislike to progress your relationship. However, what LDR couples should be reminded of is that they are merely communicating with the means of various gadgets and applications. And with the technology we have now there are many possible ways wherein you could communicate with your partner. But that’s not the problem is it? Not being able to talk in person puts your relationship in a grave situation. The important thing to remember is to talk, chat, do a phone call or even a video call. It is not as good as being able to do it personally, but you have to settle for most resources you have.

Display faith. When in this kind of relationship, you must understand the word “trust”, not only in terms of being able to define it, but also to comprehend. You ought to give it fully and truly to your partner. You have to dealt with the idea that he or she is far away, but you have to be confident that you won’t be exchange for anyone else. It is good to protect yourself from vulnerabilities, but you should not let it eat you up. You must see to it that you show how much you trust him/her, and that trust should not be betrayed.

Drop the troubled mind. No matter how confident a person is, sometimes the LDR demons are just there to tickle you. You would think what he or she might be doing during the time your phone calls weren’t answered. You feel uneasy when you don’t get or hear the answers from him or her. These are just some of the reasons why you engage to fights that should have never occurred. You have to refrain from inviting ill-thoughts that would make you feel uneasy and less secure. You have to drop the “what ifs” because it enhances you chances of having arguments, eventually break-up.

Be understanding. Because of distance, time, work, and the separation would make couples easily give up. But when you accept the fact that you are in this kind of relationship. Then you also have to back it up with your patience and understanding. You have to pull your strings to the most possible stretch you can, for you to be of the same pace with your partner. You have to give up the idea of thinking about “you” instead the concept should be always “us”. When either of you understand each other’s situations; then it’ll be simpler for both of you. It is easier said than done then again, nothing comes off easy.

Make time. It is not difficult to comprehend what needs to be done. There are lots of complexities to remember when in this kind of relationship. You don’t need to find the time. You must irrevocably have to make time. You ought to put your priorities in placed. You tend to lessen everything such as sleep, socialization, and even limiting your pastime. All these in exchange for you to talk and share moments just like regular couples do.

Make plans. Being in a a long-distance relationship is really difficult. It is definitely a challenge for you and your partner. However, if you make plans together, there would always a glitter of hope. You heighten the fire when you put more wood in it. This goes the same with couple in LDR, when you feed each other happy and positive thoughts, and plans to do things together, it makes any feeling lighter. It would be developing to something where you want to lead it to. Having to know what plans is set for both of you gives you a feeling of security.

Let us remember that this type of relationship is not flowers and butterflies. It is like going to a war and unsure of winning. Then again, when you truly love a person, you should be willing to have certain sacrifices to make it work. When in love, we can’t protect ourselves all the time. There is no bullet proof to anything that would come along. In order to triumph over things, we must work hard for it. Remember that the curse of true love never run smooth. And in order to be together, couples often undergo difficulties and trials. We just have to remember that in any relationship, survival is not about considering all the factors you do not have control of, instead its exploring and utilizing all possible ways you can.