What’s Real is an essay written and shared by Yuki Nakaniwa for The Ugly Writers under the theme STUCK for the month of February.
I remember when I was seven years old, I loved reading fantasies, stories of fairies and princesses and I’m dreaming of a fairytale-like life where everything is magnificent with a perfect family and a home, that is luxurious too. Of course, with the love from a perfect prince, a knight in shining armor to be exact.
But now that I’m on the legal age, everything has changed. I didn’t find the life I’m dreaming since I was a little child, but the life I’m living right now only taught me that I was wrong and my IMAGINATION is over. I found the days go so fast and the next thing I knew, I needed the time to relax and focus on what’s real.
In reality, I am not good at a lot of things; I cannot paint beautiful things nor can I write a wonderful poem; I cannot sing a good song nor can I dance, but I can be by your side every time you needed someone and when your day has become too much too bear. I have no siblings but I can be your sister and a best friend! I’m not rich, I have nothing to offer and I am not good at much too, but I will be good to everyone.
Everyone has a happy ending in fairytales but in reality, life isn’t good at all times, it is like a roller coaster there are many ups and downs. Some days, I was the moon who would light you up in a dark and most days I’m just an eclipse waiting for someone to light up my gloomy night.
I am a princess in my very own way, I may not have made from a star, but at least from the dust of a star. Still, shining and amazing! But a star loses its brightness too.
If I showed you my teardrops, you are a very special person. I will let you collect them like the rain falling freely from the sky, I will let you see me in my worst part and I will be transparent to you. But promise me, keep them in a safe place, in your heart.
Trust is hard to find, but harder to give. So if I trust you, please don’t break my heart again, as my dad has done to me. He was the one who broke my fairytale dream, in the first place.
If you liked the essay Walk Away, please check out other entries for the theme Diaspora: Liberate Yourself only here at The Ugly Writers.