Not Really Sure

Not Really Sure

I am not really sure what happened last night.

I woke this morning to find my middle finger sliced as if I had been in a bar fight.

Who was I fighting?

Or was I the one assaulting another?

The bottoms of my feet are indented with pebble marks and scratched as if sticks and branches were all along my chosen path.

Who was I running from?

Or was it I that was doing the chasing?

My feet are calloused and the skin is falling off in sheets.

Barefoot, my travels didn’t take me very far.

I woke confused in the same bed where the night before I attempted to rest my weary head.

Even when I believed my mind was finally giving me a break and falling into the land of not remembering.

My body again has betrayed me.

My legs must have been working hard to keep up, as every muscle aches.

My arms feel weakened as if crawling was the only means of transportation.

What was I after?

What did I desire so desperately?

Everything I did last night was for naught.

Every part of my body is paying the price for whatever happened, all while I thought I was sleeping.

Sleep now doesn’t seem to be a precious commodity when it comes time to face it tonight.

Almost dreaded, I may avoid it a bit longer.

My body can’t take much more of this.

Catch more of Kelli J. Gavin with her other entries at The Ugly Writers:

fully me  trying to heal I need a sign i don't mean to brag the ugly writers

Check her own website here.

March 12, 2019

Kelli J Gavin of Carver, Minnesota is a Writer and Professional Organizer. With over 300 short stories and poems published and posted online, her work can be found with Clarendon House Publications, Sweetycat Press, 300 South Publishing, Linden Books, The Ugly Writers, Zombie Pirates Publishing, Setu, The Story Pub, Cut 19, Otherwise Engaged, Flora Fiction, Margins Magazine, The Basil O’Flaherty, The Rye Whiskey Review, Some Good News, Sweatpants and Coffee, and Southwest Media among many others. Kelli’s first two books were released in 2019 (“I Regret Nothing- A Collection of Poetry and Prose” and “My Name is Zach- A Teenage Perspective on Autism”). She has co-authored over 40 anthologies.  www.kellijgavin.blogspot.com @KelliJGavin on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter and @keltotheg on TikTok

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