Jerk’s 10 Ways on How to Make a Girl Smile

1. Know her name. Skip the pronouns. A lady would like to be addressed by her given name. Do not moan it nor make a booty-slapping gesture.

2. Be respectful. Make her feel like a lady, even if she’s only 16. 

3. Be chivalrous. Don’t expect ladies to jump and stradle you. Offer her your seat, jerk!

4. Compliment her job/work. Don’t be stingy with praises for something they deserve. The world is not just about you.

5. Make her laugh. Laugh WITH her. Not AT her, dumbass.

6. Laugh at her jokes. Fight the temptation of bitchslapping her just because her jokes are corny.

7. Do not patronize her. Empathize. Not every lady wants to be a damsel in distress. Some of them are warrior princesses.

8. Listen. Even if it won’t garner you sexy time with her. You’d be surprised at how much you’ll learn about her.

9. Acknowledge her presence. Look her in the eye when talking to her (you can direct your sight in between her eyebrows or forehead not on her rack). It worked for me!

10. Small gestures count. Picking her up after school or work, bringing food during lunch breaks and staying on the road side while walking would make her feel royalty. The hit rate for getting laid here is high.

Hope you had fun reading the list. Despite the rude title and quirky explanation, I hope this makes for a great clue as to how women should be treated. 

For more Top Ten, comment below and we’ll try to do them ugly writer style! Peace!

theuglywriter is like water. Put water into cup. Water takes the shape of the cup. Put water into bottle. Water takes the shape of an effin bottle.

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