I was branded the black sheep of the family.
Like Marisse from Harping by a Pixie, I loathe family gatherings, our yearly reunions that suck the life out of me for a day, social parties that revolve around who is now earning more and the numbing wakes and funerals I am “required” to attend because people might call me weird or snob.
But unlike Marisse, I have an inkling as to why we still adopt our ancestral culture of joining get-togethers. It is socialism at it’s finest (and I’m being sarcastic here). We are embedded by our parents, grandparents of this bacteria we call Social Conformity, that whenever we stray away from it, we have every tendency to be branded as deviants. Total Individualism doesn’t exist. In one way or another, we will abide by such norms, whether we like it or not. Call it fate, or any mumbo-jumbo you can think of. The universe will always conspire against you (Or for you, if you are the optimist kind).
Despite my lack of a sense of social obligation, one of the cultures I found surprisingly advantageous is marriage. I admit I thought I could get away with being Thirty and Single. I was wrong. I married by the age of twenty-nine. And I came to love it.
1 Married Life is not the “Dead End” I thought it would be.
Having lived my life on a whim, taking weird life choices included, being married will not cut you the social life you’ve been used to unless you let it. Like how freedom is not absolute, married life doesn’t guarantee that you’ll never see your friends again. Of course, now you will need the consent of your spouse or partner, but it’s not half bad. In my case, I have no social life, to begin with. So I’m golden.
2 Marriage means being mature and unfazed.
As a kid who grew up without a sense of responsibility, I appreciate how having a partner means being grounded. No longer do I make decisions out of impulse. I started to appreciate how I stop and reflect on the effects of any actions I may or may not do. I actually enjoy being selfless – for once.
3 Being married won’t have an influx on your finances.
Yeah, I’m earning a lot now more than ever (having two regular jobs and a freelance gig as an ugly writer, but I let the missus handle all our bills and financial obligations. It’s like having an unpaid secretary. How cool is that?! The downside is, I don’t get to see my money. Haha. I can’t even remember my Pin Code for my ATM. And despite earning more, it’s only now that I get to experience leaving the house with only five hundred pesos in my wallet. I just pretend that my money doesn’t exist. I get to live on a daily basis with chump-change and I just get surprised as to all the monthly bills that I get to pay without even knowing.
4 Sometimes, just having someone is more than enough
Having a partner (if you’re lucky), means that you’ll never be alone in facing your problems, in celebrating success and you’ll never have to be clueless alone. We get to be clueless together. Which is really fun, if I may add. Being married would allow you to share your dismay, excitement, achievements, and failures.
Coming from a life full of solidarity, having a partner is a welcome change. All in all, I think it just makes me be a better person.
This is an answer to Harping By A Pixie’s guest post on Karla’s website here.
You can find this post at The Wise Lark