Several months have passed since we “formally” broken up our relationship of 4 years. I am still far from okay. You seem to be happy with him.

Sure, I have a stable job. I learned new skills. I made new friends. However, I haven’t really learned how to properly move on from you. I haven’t made myself believe that we are truly over. I’m not really stable most of the time.

The truth is that I miss you so bad. I miss us. I miss having you beside me. I regret that I didn’t tell you this when we met up recently to talk.

How could I? You bragged about how he can handle your tantrums better. You bragged about how he makes you happy. I do want you to be happy even if that means I don’t get to for a couple more months.

You have no idea how much I want to just go to where you are and confess all of these pent-up feelings. I know it won’t make any difference and that it will only push you away even further.

I am lost. I am unhappy. I am trying to move on, but I still can’t. I need you and it hurts everyday. I’ve never been so sure of someone and something.

I still can’t believe that our 4 years was just for nothing.

By Lord Marin