What We Really Want

M: “What’s on your mind? <3 ”

Syl: Thinking about what people Really want.

M: “Oh. ?”

Syl: Well I’d say if one asks most people they say things like success, love, security, fame, popularity. Yes?

M: “Yeah.”

Syl: Ok, so they get those, most don’t necessarily want all of those, but let’s say they get what they want, then what?

M: “Then, are they happy?”

Syl: Exactly. No, they are not necessarily happy. Typically not. Why?

Because their happiness has been predicated on Outside forces. Those cannot, of course, produce happiness of themselves. Celebrity suicides are all too common as proof.

So those goals are what people believe they want, not what they really want. What they really want is Happiness ofc. But, there is much more to that also.

There are The-Keys-to-Happiness…

M: “Yes. I think happiness is only true inner happiness if it’s also moral, i.e. good for you and others. Eg. criminals get what they want. But I don’t believe they can be truly happy. So “success” is not happiness.

Syl: Yes indeed.
What are the problems that beset happy people?

M: “Hmmm. Same problems that beset others.”

Syl: Yes exactly, this is the non-obvious part.

M: “Life is full of problems. One can’t hope for no problems. One can only hope for a better class of problems! 😀 ”

Syl: Haha, yes. Or… one can change how we relate to problems, change what we perceive to be problems. Change how we are so that problems are no longer problems. Change ourselves so that our Perspective truly shifts.

Because, problems are not necessarily universal. Some are bothered by what others love for instance. It’s not the problems themselves that are the problem. It’s us!!! Yes?

Consider these problems of happy people:

They are still affected by others.
They are still plagued by doubt and insecurity.
Their happiness is fleeting, comes and goes.
They are seldom in control of their happiness. It comes when it comes.
Their happiness is fragile. It’s not really real.
Their happiness is limited in type and scope.
Their happiness is Dependent.

Thus, the resolution for all this is…?

M: “Hmmm. Redefine happiness”

Syl: Feeling good, feeling in a way that is pleasant and from which change is not needed. Contentment, satisfaction, solidity, completeness, togetherness, ease, positivity, freedom.

There is more, but I am going somewhere with this, So leaving some out. 🙂 😀

As I see it, when boiling it all down, it comes to one key essential issue, and its related supports:


Confidence is the critical element that makes it all work, that’s the missing link. Personal Internal Confidence-of-Being. This is what those that have those external elements of happiness are missing when they “should” be happy having it all, but are not. Confidence and what follows from it is what makes an individual’s happiness real, solid and not dependent on other or external factors.

M: Ahhhh.

Syl: 🙂 😀 Changes things somewhat considerably, yes?

M: Yep.


By Syl Dinada
Visit his site here.
Visit his Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/syl.dinada for comments

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