To All NORMAL People,
Do you know what anxiety does, and how it affects people? Read on. If you feel like someone very close is becoming unreachable (in a lot of sense), this may help you understand.
You want to try, but you just lay back, fearing failure.
You want to trust, but you doubt, fearing betrayal.
You want to confide, but you hide, fearing judgment.
You want to laugh, but you weep, fearing storm after the calm.
You want to relax, but you panic, fearing commotions.
You want to showcase, but you shy away, fearing destructive criticism.
You want to talk, but you shut up, fearing interruption.
You want to be real, but you pretend, fearing unacceptance.
You scare yourself, you worry too much, you overthink. You know you don’t wanna do it, but your mind just won’t put up. Your thoughts are haunting you, and you can’t run away as you’re tied to it. You’re fragile.
People tell you, “It’s all in the mind, get over it!”
Yes. It’s all in the mind. As far as I could remember, Science in 2nd grade taught us that the brain controls everything in our body. Can my hands hold the thoughts that flow into my head? Can my mouth tell my brain to stop thinking? Can my eyes see and predict what my brain will tell me in the next minute?
I admit to being abnormal. Because normal people say that we have the power over our thoughts. I’m not normal if that’s how I can justify my situation to you. You might say I am making things up just to support the drama I am creating for myself. You may not know, but you need to know — Anxiety is a disease. It’s a sickness. It’s a disorder. You’re lucky you don’t have it. You’re lucky, your brain cooperates with you every time. You’re lucky, your thoughts do not poison your life disposition. You’re lucky, you don’t have anxiety disorder.
Till it happens to you, you won’t know how it feels.
By Clang Mae
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