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How can I find peace and happiness?

“How can I find peace and happiness?”

Dear Mona,

Have you considered the problem in the question itself? If we believe we have to “find” something, that means we have to “look” for whatever it is, and that in turn means or implies we don’t have it.

If you were to have peace and happiness, where would it be? I’d say, shift your view from searching, to recognising. Imagine what it might be like, imagine how it would be *inside* you, as that is the only place it can really be. Right?

And then, the more you practice this recognition of peace and happiness within you, the more that mindset and perspective becomes a habit, and before you know, you’ll have that peace and happiness as part of your life. “Finding” in this case is all about Deliberate Emphasis.

A key understanding is to realise that our Circumstances and our peace and happiness are actually not necessarily directly connected. In other words, we can be at peace and happy in sucky circumstances. But, if we believe and assume our peace and happiness comes from without, then we will have a hard time connecting to those positive states-of-being. What we are, how we are, is largely independent of what goes on outside us, if we so choose. Only we can decide what we really are. And this is the path to peace and happiness.

Your broad question reminds me of the Oracle at Delphi, in ancient Greece of Old Earth. The system worked because those that ran the temple there let it be known that the Oracle’s answer depended on how specific the question is. A clever psychological insight. The more focused our questions, the closer we get to resolution.


Syl Sabastian

Syl Sabastian

"I admit to being an unusual person." - SS

From a comment on his profile pic, since writing one's own bio is so difficult:

“Beautiful and astounding. Kind of resembles an amazing character I know. Some call him the Weaver of the Unraveled, the Rekindler of Doused Fires, the Sandman of Endless Beaches, the Friend to the Friendless, the Harmonizer of Unsung Heros. And some even call him Syl.” - Na'Cher

From age 10, on the day he literally exploded a light-bulb, Syl Sabastian’s acute life-long love affair with Understanding began. Since then his focus on, and love of Awareness, or more accurately his struggle with non-awareness, has never let-up.

An intense reader in his youth, Syl absorbed over a book a day, including the classics read in chronological order, culminating in extensive science-fiction/fantasy/speculative reading. After transitioning to Applying and Living his philosophies, Appropriately, with Attunement the ever-present motivation and catalyst, it all morphed in time to an earnest propensity to write and communicate.

Syl and His Heart have owned restaurants, stores, online businesses, and travelled the world, while implementing and enjoying their life-perspectives of which he writes so deeply. As Biella is so fond of saying, "and there's More..."

"My life began, from earliest memory, with a peculiar precocious understanding of abstract concepts, a mystery which remains unexplained to any satisfaction. I feel I am traversing a circle back to my origin, except perhaps, now more aware of what I already knew." -  From: The Young Man's Story

Syl is a great interview and an even better friend.

A Philosopher-Writer focusing on the Application of a comprehensive Practical-Personal-Philosophy. Creator of: The Philosophy of Appropriateness and: An A+ Philosophy. Writings range considerably, from extensive psychological perspectives to fiction. All connecting in one way or another to a unique vision. A consistent coherency permeates Syl Sabastian's extensive variety.

“Syl Sabastian is a Contemporary Philosopher and Writer, who exercises a glorious intellectual mind that is most admirable for its profundity and sharpness. Often offering multiple sides of an argument, he provokes self-introspection. His aim is to uncover Appropriateness, Awareness, Attention, Application, Attunement, and more, with a unique, high-level understanding of the profound intricacies that interlace these concepts.” - TJT & PDJ, Owners of the Gateway Gazette, Entrepreneurs, Writers, Moms.

"My blog is my best bio." -SS  :) <3

“You fascinate me, you really do. I think of myself as a big deep thinker... your writing, at least what I think I understand it to be about, sounds like the basis for either a belief-system or a wonderful self-help process. Am I anywhere near the mark? I think your writing, even about yourself, is amazing by the way. Quite poetic.” - Andrew Reeves, Author, Screenwriter, Poet, Creator of The Empty World, The Voodoo Doll, Claire, The Dictionary of Stupid, and more.

Articles: 19


  1. So true. Finding peace and happiness is not about searching. Its about recognizing what you have. Happiness is about being contented on what you already have.

  2. That recognition is so huge. When we make a shift to Appreciation as a constant and ongoing part of our mindset and perspective, life changes dramatically. :) <3

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