The Gift of Second Chances

Published by Kelli J Gavin on

the ugly writers

The Gift of Second Chances

Today I failed. Failed as a mom. Failed miserably.  It involved yelling. And crying. From both my daughter and myself.  I couldn’t do it.  It was too much.  The day became so challenging. I gave up, my heart hurt and I had to walk away.  I think of all the days that I have failed as a mom. There have been many.  It usually involves disobedience, lying, rudeness, sassiness and whole lot kids trying to make mom cry. No. They really aren’t trying to make me cry.  But sometimes it feels like it.

I am a tenderhearted girl. Words matter. And they seem to matter most when they are words delivered from a child to a parent in hopes of hurting them.  After all is said and done, I may have said something like, “Well done. You did it.  I am completely defeated.  Anything else you want to say? Go for it. Get it out of your system.”  That is when I had to walk away.  My broken mom heart on my sleeve.  I had to turn and walk away before verbally wounding the child that just wounded me.

Nope, I am not over it. I feel like this day has merited a couple days of hurt, but only a couple.  I was concerned after my baby girl came to me and apologized and we talked a bit. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to turn the day around. I couldn’t just pick up where we left off.  We had a wonderful morning filled by a dreadful afternoon.  So I fled. We fled. I packed up the kids and bonus child and we fled to the Carver Wildlife Refuge.  The warm Minnesota Fall day was what we all needed. The sun on our faces, the breeze at our backs,  the water rippling as if to welcome us. 

The road was flooded and the gates were closed so we parked and walked into the park reserve.  I could feel my heart rate calming as soon as we came to top of the first hill.  The gravel felt great under our feet. I shouted out an announcement to the kids each time I saw something amazing.  The hollowed out tree, the snake on the side of the path, the stick that looked like a crutch.  They then started to do the same.  They pointed out the beautiful yellow leaves, showed me how to throw the rocks into the water and were amazed that the water got so deep so fast. We all stopped to revel at the sound of the water rushing quickly where the Minnesota River stopped us in our tracks as it covered our chosen path through the woods. We stood there in awe. The leaves, the branches, the downed trees. Even the old relics of days gone by. A huge metal gas can, a broken trap.

This was how we reclaimed the day. How our day was redeemed. We walked away from the mess that happened at our home and dove into all the joys that nature provides.  This over 70 degree fall Minnesota day was balm for my weary soul. It enabled me to want to speak kind words to the child that had hurt me so. The exercise and hills enabled me to place my worries behind me. How thankful I am that I was able to find solace in God’s amazingly beautiful creation today.  The Carver Wildlife Refuge has done this before.  All of God’s Glory in creation is completely on display in that beautiful place.

This day ended so much more peaceful than it had begun. I was able to be thankful to the Creator for His Creation. I was able to admit when I was wrong. I was able to let past hurt and defeat go.  I was able to enjoy being with my kids on this beautiful day. 

Tomorrow I will get another chance. It will probably involve another outing.   It will probably involve a lot of, “Oh Look at that!”  I am going to make an effort to love on my kids. To kiss them.  To hug them. To tell them I love them and that I am so glad that I am their mom.  I am so thankful for the gift of second chances.

 

Catch more of Kelli J. Gavin with her other entries at The Ugly Writers:

fully me  trying to heal I need a sign i don't mean to brag the ugly writers

Check her own website here.


Kelli J Gavin

Kelli J Gavin lives in Carver, Minnesota with Josh, her husband of an obscene amount of years and they have two crazy kids. She is a Writer, Professional Organizer and owns Home & Life Organization and a small Jewelry Company. Look for Kelli’s first book of short stories and poems in 2019. You can find her work with The Ugly Writers, Sweatpants & Coffee, Writing In a Woman’s Voice, The Writers Newsletter, Writers Unite!, Academy of the Heart and Mind, The Rye Whiskey Review, Spillwords, Mercurial Stories, 121 Words, HerStry, Ariel Chart, The Basil O’Flaherty, PPP Ezine, Southwest Media, Otherwise Engaged, Pleat her Skin, Paper.Li, The New Ink Review, among others. Find Kelli on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @KelliJGavin

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Jade CastilloAngelic AngelesKent Alvin Gerald AquinoRohm MendozaSim Soria Recent comment authors
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Kurt Antonio
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Kurt Antonio

A second chance doesn’t mean anything if you didn’t learn from your first.

Camille Jane Aquitania
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Camille Jane Aquitania

Second chance is given to those people who deserves it.

Miguel Carlo Vito
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Miguel Carlo Vito

Second chances are only given to a special person so value it.

Jennifer Asilo
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Jennifer Asilo

They say as long as you live you always have the chance to be successful.

Sim Soria
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Sim Soria

They say, life always offers us a second chance. It’s called tomorrow. So don’t give up against adverse circumstances and keep fighting.

Rohm Mendoza
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Rohm Mendoza

Romans 8:28-30

Kent Alvin Gerald Aquino
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Kent Alvin Gerald Aquino

What a touching story!

Angelic Angeles
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Second chances are not given to make things right, but are given to prove that we could be better even after we fail. As long as we accept our mistakes and learned from it.

Jade Castillo
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Jade Castillo

This one really makes me emotional. The writer is effective for me. Kudos!