Farewell, My Prince
I couldn’t remember what day it was. It was just one of those boring Saturday nights. Another week was over. I just had to kill time before going back to the daily grind on Monday. There was no indication that my life would never be the same when I woke up on that boring weekend.
I am not embarrassed to admit that I met you through another man. I was trying to get to know him when you came along. And to be honest, I had strong prejudices against your type. I thought that all of you were vain and fake. I thought that you were just putting on an act. That was your job after all. But as I got to know you, I felt that you were a genuinely good person. I believed you had no mean bone in your body. And the more I got to know you, the more I fell. Once you fall through the rabbit hole, there was no going back.
I started spending all of my free time and my precious weekends with you. I was mesmerized by your whole being. You were the most handsome man I had ever laid my eyes on. You had wonderful bright eyes and a killer smile. You had the most toned body I ever saw. Add to that the sexiest deep voice I had ever heard. Your voice could only be described as smooth as honey. You had this beautiful low register which is so refreshing to hear in a country obsessed with high notes. It was calming and relaxing to hear you sing. You were like a fairy tale prince brought to life. Your hyena laugh was infectious as hell. And you were one of the smartest people in your industry. What a deadly combination! Those would have been enough for me. But despite being so outwardly perfect, you were also so very humble and down to earth. I half expected you to have this air of haughtiness about you. However, you were the opposite. You were so goofy and playful. It was not an exaggeration when I say that your presence brought light to the room.
I loved how caring you were towards those around you. You were always there for your brothers. You complained a lot when they had an absurd request but you would always gave in. Your friends didn’t even have to say that they needed you. You somehow knew when your presence and support were needed. No matter what time or day, you would be there for them for sure. I also watched how you did little things to other people which seemed so random but actually showed how good you were raised. You were mindful of the welfare of the people who worked with you. I haven’t heard a single bad word said against you. You were really the perfect gentleman.
That was not to say that you were not a man’s man. I have witnessed how fiercely competitive you were. There was not a sport you did not excel in. But you were the perfect athlete. You were always humble in victory and gracious in defeat.
As I got to know you, I kept asking myself if you were for real. How could such a perfect human being exist? Truth is, it does not.
I shouldn’t have fallen for an illusion. Yes, you exist, but not in my reality. Someone like you was way out of my league. Someone like you would never fall in love with someone like me. Not in this lifetime or in the next hundred lifetimes. You were meant to be with a beautiful princess; someone who moved within your circle. Nothing stings so much than having found the most perfect man and knowing he can never be yours.
It was entirely my fault. I ate up everything that you were selling. The blame for my current situation lay solely on me. I was not a hormonal teenager anymore and should have known better.
There were a lot of things which would make it impossible. The most glaring was the huge age gap between us. The flower of youth was still in full bloom with you. I was old enough to be your aunt. This was one of those rare moments when I curse the stars above. I was born too soon; you were born too late. You have said so many times before that you wanted a family. I have seen how good you were with children like it came naturally to you. But I was not sure if I could still give you the family you had always wanted. I have no doubt that you would be a wonderful husband and the most amazing father. I just wished that when that time comes, I have gotten over you and wouldn’t care anymore. That would be the only way it wouldn’t hurt so bad.
There was also a cultural and language barrier to think about. Language was an easy one to overcome. But we were raised in different backgrounds. You had a core set of values and I did too. There were areas where I thought that we would clash. Perhaps because you started working at an early age, your ideal type was someone who would totally be devoted to taking care of you. And I couldn’t say I could do that. I had responsibilities. I would make time for you but I would have to carve it out of my busy schedule.
People often said that when you wanted something so bad, the universe would conspire to make it happen. But I am a realist. No amount of wishing and hoping would make you mine. Everything you said about your ideal type, I was the opposite. And I am writing this to say goodbye while I still can. I had to wake up now and accept that you were one of the things and people I couldn’t have.
I wish you all the best. Stay healthy and continue on shining.
Farewell, my love. My fairy tale prince.