the ugly writers

Rebirth

Our circumstances do not determine who we become, we do. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

Rebirth

 

There were days when I had nothing to eat. I lived off on cigarettes, coffee, and drinking at Palma Hall’s water fountain. No one back then understood my decision to leave home. I had everything an 18-year-old girl could have ever wanted. I drove my own car and my allowance for a week was more than the monthly minimum wage but I didn’t have freedom. I had been living a lie since pre-school as I grew up based on everyone’s expectations. I had no clue as to who I really was and all the academic accolades I’ve received couldn’t translate into giving me a sense of identity.

One day, I snapped. I left all my material possessions and with only Php 500 in my pocket, I decided to leave everything I was accustomed to. Saying that this experience was difficult is an understatement. I was a spoiled brat who grew up in a different country so I had no street smarts that I could rely on. Heck, I didn’t even know how to get across if a pedestrian lane wasn’t present. I had nowhere to live so the University’s main library became my new hangout spot. At closing time,I would sleep at the benches hidden from sight, hoping I wouldn’t get murdered. I would go to my classes hungry. My so-called friends, who were also my blockmates, didn’t even bother to ask how I was doing even if they all knew what I was going through.

I was desperate but I didn’t cry, I hustled. From being a thesis writer for students of nearby colleges to a part-time researcher of a government institution (thanks to the recommendation of one of my professors), I made ends meet. A semester before graduation, I even had a stint working for a bar in Timog. I have no talent in dancing whatsoever but I could talk about anything. I knew the owner so at any point in time that someone asked for services I don’t give, I could get the bouncer to show them their way out. I learned how to cook (fry is the operative word) and to do my own laundry. Overall, I learned what I was capable of in addition to finally understanding the value of money.

When I tell people this story, they always ask if I would have chosen the same path, given a chance to rewrite my life. My ready answer is that I wouldn’t have it in any other way. This wasn’t the dark ages for me, this was my renaissance. I am not ashamed of my past because it made me who I am today. I wouldn’t have known my worth as a person had I not gone through this period of extreme self-reliance and awareness.

Our circumstances do not determine who we become, we do. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

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26 Comments

  1. Your testings will someday become your testimony.

  2. Crystal Anne Castillo
    Crystal Anne Castillo

    inspiring

  3. challenges charge as experience ❣️

  4. Eugene Carvajal, CIV193, MQ2, Rule of Thirds

  5. Cyrel julian Pili
    Cyrel julian Pili

    Cyrel Julian Pili, ESE191 and Moment and MQ2

  6. Ramores Judith, CIV192 and Rule of Thirds and (MQ2)

  7. Rule of thirds (kenneth jamis, CIV193, Art Apreciation, MQ2)

  8. [Danilo, Jr. R. Ramirez], [CIV191] Rule of Thirds [MQ2]

  9. Hannah Mishariah Baylon
    Hannah Mishariah Baylon

    Hannah Mishariah Baylon, ESE191, Moment, MQ2

  10. [Nicho M. Garcia], [CIV191] Rule of thirds [MQ2]

  11. Gian Glenn Baldomero
    Gian Glenn Baldomero

    [Gian Glenn C. Baldomero] [ESE191] Moment [MQ2]

  12. Immarence Del088
    Immarence Del088

    [Immarence Del Castañeda] [ESE191] Rule of Thirds [MQ2] Rule of thirds, magic hour, distance, moment.

  13. [Jen Mark M. Gucon], [CIV191] Rule of thirds [MQ2]

  14. [Mark Matthew F. Hernandez], [CIV191], Rule of thirds, [MQ2], Depth of field

  15. John Angelo Baisa
    John Angelo Baisa

    John Angelo S. Baisa, CIV193, Art Appreciation, Lights and MX

  16. [John Edward I. Fajarda], [CIV191], [ Art Appreciation], Magic hour, Lights and [MX]

  17. Marc Irvin Cambba
    Marc Irvin Cambba

    [Marc Irvin Camba], [CIV191], [ART APPRECIATION],Lights,[MX], [Magic hour]

  18. Francisco Nicanor Nitro
    Francisco Nicanor Nitro

    [Francisco Nicanor V. Nitro],[CIV191],[Art Appreciation],[Lights],[MX],[Rule of thirds]

  19. [Olive Balitaan][CIV191][Art Appreciation] and Lights and [MX] magic hour

  20. Angela Luz Calayo
    Angela Luz Calayo

    [Angela Luz V. Calayo], [CIV191], [Art Appreciation], [Lights], [MX],

  21. Sebastian Campos
    Sebastian Campos

    Sebastian Campos, CIV193, Art Appreciaton and Lights and MX

  22. [Bryan Efhriell E. Selda],[CIV193],[Art Appreciation],[LIGHTS],[MX],[Magic Hour]

  23. John Mark Bequio, CIV193, Art Appreciation, Lights, MX

  24. Gian Glenn Baldomero
    Gian Glenn Baldomero

    [Gian Glenn Baldomero], [ESE191], [Art appreciation], Lights, [MX] Magic hour

  25. Santos, Jerico A., AISP01, Art Appreciation, Color, and MX

  26. Neo Viray, inf 194, art appreciation and light and mx, rule of thirds

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