the ugly writers

Sense

Not an easy one… but I have to do this. I have to let you go and I know you'll have a better journey ahead. Don't worry as you will carry my heart as you leave, so you will never be alone. But if you finally find her, I wanted you to be the best you can. And the happiest you can be.

Sense is an essay written by Vanessa Enfectana and shared with The Ugly Writers with the theme Breakout for the month of September.

 

Sense

 

You are my northern star. The brightest and the most beautiful of all. You guided me when I was lost in utter darkness of life. You gave me direction and inspiration to go on. And I will keep looking in the vast sky knowing that you will always be there.

You… you are my favorite line in a song. The part I would always want to hear. You are the part that both excites me to the bones and make my soul cry.

You are my favorite perfume. The scent that can always make me smile. The scent I will always love. You gave me the taste of love. It is sweet just like your smile. It can be spicy just like our adventures together. It’s fun and fierce. It can be sour just like the feeling when we fight and have some misunderstanding. And it can be bitter… just like our goodbyes. Our love was once burning hot but in time, the coldness in our hearts ate us both.

You made me feel… the feeling of doing whatever it takes for someone you love and for simply surrendering for the sake of each other’s growth. You taught me to love even in times where I can’t be loved back. You taught me to forgive despite of the heavy pain you’ve caused me. You showed me the feeling of fighting and the happiness of victory. But our relationship taught me the feeling of losing and surrendering not cause I don’t love you but because I do and because I wanted you to be happy. And I already knew that it wasn’t with me. It wasn’t me… that can make your senses satisfied. It wasn’t me who can make you happy. It wasn’t me, who you will look at night. It wasn’t my I love yous that can make your day. It wasn’t my touch that can make you feel loved. It wasn’t the taste of my love that will make you complete.

Not an easy one… but I have to do this. I have to let you go and I know you’ll have a better journey ahead. Don’t worry as you will carry my heart as you leave, so you will never be alone. But if you finally find her, I wanted you to be the best you can. And the happiest you can be.

 

Please support Vanessa Enfectana by reading her previous entries at The Ugly Writers:

never enough

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when the battle is over

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Vanessa M. Enfectana

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