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Vanessa M. Enfectana

To the one who left me

the ugly writers
If ever we bumped into each other again in the future, are you gonna stop and ask me to have some coffee with you? I wonder how would we start our conversation by then.


the ugly writers
I regret every single day I made her cry. I regret being a stubborn kid. But most of all, I regret not spending her last hours with her. You know, the idea of losing her hurts a lot. But that very moment that I lost her, I lost a huge part of my life. A portion of me died with her.


the ugly writers
You know it's crazy to think that I am allowing myself to get hurt while I have the chance to live. Cause I am waiting for a simple confirmation that there is no chance between us and that my part on your story is over.


the ugly writers
Maybe it's time for us to accept that the world isn't just about you and me. But it's about those 7 billion people who's been struggling in life and been looking for their right ones. Maybe one of them belongs to us. Maybe they could be a better fit than we are to each other. Maybe it's time. Maybe it's time that I let you go and let you see another world… without me.


the ugly writers
Not an easy one… but I have to do this. I have to let you go and I know you'll have a better journey ahead. Don't worry as you will carry my heart as you leave, so you will never be alone. But if you finally find her, I wanted you to be the best you can. And the happiest you can be.


the ugly writers
My love, can you please be the one to walk away? I'd like to make sure that you are gonna make a step forward. Cause I don't wanna hear that you were stuck in a place where I have left you. I wanna be the one to wave my hand and watch your back. Please… please don't look back.


the ugly writers
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mas masakit. Yung ideya na minahal mo ako ngunit hindi nagtagal o yung hindi naman talaga ako, hindi naman talaga ako ang minahal mo.

Paalam, aking mahal

the ugly writers
Hayaan mo akong mahalin ka sa huling pagkakataon at ibuhos ang lahat ko sa iyo. Hayaan mo akong namnamin ang bawat patak ng orasan. Hayaan mo akong ipinta ang minsang sa aki'y nagpaibig at nagpasaya.

Regrets, Acceptance and Forgiveness

the ugly writers
I am sorry. I'm really sorry that I didn't notice my own shortcomings and focused on your flaws. I'm really sorry that I wasn't able to accept you fully and forced the things I want instead of listening to you.


Chronophobia   I never thought that future can be this scary For every step I take, every decision we make the future will hand us either an award or punishment. I am scared of several things, such as being left…

Hindi na mauulit pa

Hindi na ako ang babaeng kakapit sa mga pangakong itaga man sa bato / dahil kung tutuusin ang sarap ipukpok ng batong yan sa ulo mo. Hindi na! Kasi tanggap ko na! Tanggap ko na wala ka na. At hindi na ko muling babalik pa.


the ugly writers

Pagbitaw is a tagalog poem written and shared by Vanessa Enfectana to The Ugly Writers for the month of March 2020.   Pagbitaw   Nakatitig sayong mga mata Malinaw na nakikita Pero nandyan ka pa nga bang talaga O nadadala…

Old Pages

the ugly writer
Do you still remember those memories we had? Are you still telling others about me? It's just sad how this story of us becomes a legend.


the ugly writers
Everyone will leave you, either by choice or by death and the only thing left is you. You will always be there for yourself with whatever decision or even with death.


the ugly writers
I've learned a huge lesson in life. That happiness should not depend on a man nor to anyone. It should be from deep within. Your happiness should be yourself.