It took me a while before I decided to write this note. I told myself that after all the tears, I should be able to stand again. And here I am writing for the last time; hoping that this letter could reach you. We bumped into each other accidentally or we can say that we are destined to see each other that night. Where my world is falling apart and you are losing your way. We, of all people, found each other in a very unexpected way. I can barely talk as my heart was filled with so many scars and to be honest, my heart is drowning out of pain. But you, you gave me light. The way you smile and talk as if everything is so easy; it carries me to another world where I have forgotten my pain, at least for a short time.

Then, before the dawn came, I was able to release all the chains. I was finally free. You lift me high that I was able to see what is behind the walls. And from that, I decided that I should walk again. I thought you’ll hold my hand and together we will unravel the mysteries of this world. But you did the reverse, you wave your hand as a sign of goodbye. I cried and cried and for once I tried to change your mind. And then a reminder of you hits me again. “Maybe we are supposed to be in this bed. Sharing this conversation. Maybe I am supposed to be in this situation to give you these messages for you to wake up. But I am just a messenger. And please don’t forget to sign your package before I leave” you said. Those words marked on my mind. That even today I can still remember them, so clear from word to word. When our lips met for the last time, it leaves a mark on my heart. But there’s no heaviness. You took all of the heaviness in my chest and I know when I left I was completely free. And I was looking forward, achieving the promises I had given you. I will be genuinely happy. And that happiness won’t depend on a guy but it’ll be the happiness inside. I love you and thank you so much for setting me free.


If you liked reading Messenger, catch more of Vanessa Enfectana with her previous entries at The Ugly Writers or by clicking any of the links below:

never enough


when the battle is over