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I Died The Day I Confessed To You

I thought that would be the last time I would see him, but that was just the beginning. I would often see him in my part time jobs lingering somewhere. I know it was him because of his silhouette and because that was my past life's job.

I Died The Day I Confessed To You is a short story written by Reiu Somao-I and shared with The Ugly Writers under the theme PIYAR for the month of February

 

I Died The Day I Confessed To You

 

He was a prince, I was a foot soldier. I admired him like the other women in the empire, the only difference I had compared to them is that I know my limits.

I got recruited as part of the royal knights and I was already proud of that. I had more chances of encountering him, it was already a luxury for me.
However, the Great Empire War happened and I was assigned to go to the battlefield. Luckily, I survived for a few days. Then, the prince arrived to command the royal army. I got to see him wearing his armor and sword. He looked undeniably amazing.

The battlefield was harsh, if you would not pay attention, you could die. And it was just a brief moment when I saw an enemy pulling his bow and aiming his arrow towards my love, I mean, the prince. I rushed to his side but my whole body was just bearing the pain I got from the numerous fights I have engaged in.

I know I got slower but I ran with all my might to protect him. I ran but within a split second, I realized I couldn’t deflect the arrow on time. I have one chance to save him.

“Prince!!” I shouted.

The next thing I know, something pierced my right ear, I fell towards the prince. I saw his eyes laid on me for the first time.

I successfully saved him. I smiled and said my final words. “I love you.”
I woke up looking at an unfamiliar ceiling. I lifted up my hands and saw a pair of uncalloused hands, soft and gentle.

“Did I just…” I mumbled.

“Aren’t you late for your job now?” A man sitting in a chair with wheels is looking at me.

My head started to throb in pain.

“Ahhhhh!”

I heard the man scoff at me. “That’s what you get when you get yourself wasted.”

I immediately stood up and looked at a mirror. There, I see a frail woman wearing the same face of the man I just saw earlier.

“So…that’s how it is.” I whispered to myself.

I am a cleaner in the morning and a garbage collector at night. This job might not be the cleanest but I need this to support my disabled twin brother and myself. Our parents abandoned us and went their separate ways when we were just in middle school. No one wanted to take us. It was our grandparents who took care of us but they passed away as soon as we finished senior high school. Then, my brother got into an accident that made him sit on the wheelchair until now.

While I was moving my cart with my equipment for cleaning, suddenly someone bumped into me. I fell on the ground and the cleaning materials flew in different directions.

“Hey! Do you want to die? Are you blind?”

I immediately bowed my head and apologized non-stop even though it was not my fault in the first place.

“You ruined my suit!”

I raised my head and looked at the person who was furiously shouting at me.
I felt butterflies flying in my stomach. Then, tears fell down my eyes.

“Don’t you dare…uhmm cry…” he said but his tone suddenly softened.

“I apologize for this matter, Director. We will deal with our staff punishment and immediately replace her.” My manager who came out of nowhere while running out of breath said to the man I offended.

As soon as I heard my manager’s words, I felt a cold bucket of ice poured on me. I handed him my ID and my cleaning cart.

“I apologize for this accident. I accept the punishment. Thank you for everything, manager. I’ll collect my things and will immediately leave.”

I know my place. I know my worth. Since the beginning, I know where I stand. Without looking into the eyes of my manager and the man he called Director, I walked away with my head down and my tears already dried.

“I’m glad he’s still doing great.” I whispered.

The day was not yet finished. I still got my night job. While I was cleaning the garbage bin in one corner of the street within the neighborhood I was assigned to, I felt my ear itchy for some reason. Bothered by it, I stopped what I was doing and tried to scratch it but something in the corner of my eye caught my attention. I looked to my side and saw the man I bumped into in the company this morning, the director.

“I have been calling you for some time now. Are you deaf?”

My eyes widened. I moved my hand to my ear and fixed my hearing aid.

“Sorry, did you say something?”

He looked surprised while looking at me. “Are you…I said, I’ve been calling you for some time now but you can’t hear me.”

“Ah yes, sorry, my hearing aid was not properly worn. Why? Do you need anything?”

“What…are…are you really deaf?”

“Eh..uhmm..yes sir. Why?” I couldn’t comprehend what’s happening but I’m more afraid that he will make me pay for the ruined suit he was wearing earlier.

“Never mind.”

I was about to answer him back but I felt my phone vibrate inside my pocket. It was my dear brother.

“Are you coming home late?”

“No. I’ll just finish this now. I’ll get back soon. I love you.”

I did not hear a reply but only a hum coming from my shy brother.
I looked back at the director and he was staring at me as if he would start to cry.

“You…you are…that..”

“If there’s nothing else, I’ll go first.” I turned around and didn’t look back anymore.

After that night, everything changed. I have received a call from the director telling me to go back to my job as a cleaner. I declined.

He called again and asked me to pay for the cleaning of his suit. I paid him using my severance pay I received and forwarded it to the front desk of the company.

He called for other reasons but I didn’t entertain him anymore until he found my house.

I sighed.

“Sir, what do you want?”

“Tell me, why did you say those words?”

“What sir?”

“I…after uhmm taking that arrow, you…confessed but…”

I kneeled in front of him with my left leg bent and placed my closed hand to my chest. “I greet the second prince of the empire.”

“You…how come you…”

“Forgive me for being rude at the time of the great empire war but I am glad that you are safe and doing well.”

“You just confessed!!” He raised his voice.

I lifted my head and replied. “Do not be anxious, prince. I died that day I uttered those words. At the same time, I, Royce Storm of the 24th infantry battalion, Rank C Knight, ended my feelings on that day for the prince of the empire.”

“You’re…”

“Lian! What are you doing? Who is this guy?” I heard my brother’s enraged voice.

“Calm down, Liam. He’s someone who just lost his way.”

That’s what I said but Liam was still glaring at the director. “If you are already done. Leave at once. Do not bother my sister anymore.”

I looked at the director. “Farewell, your highness.”

The next day, it was quite peaceful and I had run some delivery for my new part-time job. It stayed like that for a week until one day, I got an order coming from the previous company I worked for.

As I arrived in the lobby, I approached the front desk and informed them that I have a delivery on the 25th floor.

“Ms. Lian?”

“Yes?” I responded without much thought when someone called my name.

It was a man wearing spectacles, he looked like he was at least in his thirties. He’s wearing a black suit and he’s really prim and proper like your usual honor student vibe.

“Please follow me. The one who ordered the food is waiting.”

“Huh? But, isn’t it the company’s protocol to just leave the deliveries here in the reception?” I know for sure that was the rule because I previously worked there so I tilted my head with a wondering expression.

“Err…that is not applicable right now. Please follow me.”

I didn’t have much choice because I needed to give the delivery.

“Please do not be afraid. I am Brian Eclise. I work as an executive secretary here.”

“Ohh…you actually looked familiar, sir.”

The bell of the elevator indicating that we arrived on the intended floor rang. Brian led the way and we reached a door somewhere at the end of the hall.
“Please come in.” He said to me as he opened the door.

“She’s here.” Brian announced.

The swivel chair that was facing back turned around and revealed the person sitting on it. It was the director, no, the second prince.”

I immediately put down my delivery box and kneeled like what my past self always did.

“I greet the second prince, the fourth star of the empire.”

“Stop it. We’re no longer like that anymore. Stand up.”

I obeyed him but I kept my head low.

“What can I do for you, your…highness?”

“Just be honest. Lian, no, Royce Storm. Were you really that knight that saved me from the war?”

“Indeed, it was I, your highness.”

“And were you also that knight who’s driving out those ladies who would frequently try to get my attention? The knight who would guard my tent? That one who always positioned himself at the rear whenever I’m being escorted?”
The cat got my tongue. How come he knows all of that? I tried to stay quiet and low during those times because I just wanted to serve and see him in little ways I could. My feelings for the prince at that time were unacceptable. It was disgusting.

“So, it’s really you. And why the hell would you confess at that time?!!” He shouted.

I know I had to answer. I raised my head and looked him in the eye.
“Because I know that was my last breath and my first time speaking directly to you. I was happy that I have saved you even if it caused me my own life.”
“That’s uncalled for!!”

“It was not. I was just a mere royal knight and our lives do not matter compared to the royals we pledge to protect. I have fulfilled my duty and that was the right thing to do. I may be reckless as a young man, a knight who is idealistic but I know my position, same even until in this lifetime.”
“What do you mean?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“What happened in our past lives doesn’t matter today. I am no longer a knight but only a laborer. You were no longer a prince but a young successful director of a prestigious company. The only difference from then and now is, our position does not change. May I request to leave now sir? I have delivered your order and I’m afraid I’m already running late for my other clients.”
“I’ll buy your time. I still have a lot to ask.”

I sighed. “Prince…”

“That’s no longer my title. Call me Winston, Winston Collins.”

“Right. Mr. Collins, I no longer serve under your reign. Now, if you may excuse me. I still need to do my assigned job. I bid you well.”

I turned around and left the building without looking back.

“The past will never be the same as the present. My love was in vain before but it will never be the same now because I no longer have any feelings left for him.”

I thought that would be the last time I would see him, but that was just the beginning. I would often see him in my part time jobs lingering somewhere. I know it was him because of his silhouette and because that was my past life’s job.

I could no longer ignore it so I confronted him after I finished my night job, garbage collecting.

“Just tell me what you want. Can you please stop playing this stalker game?!” My tone has a hint of irritation.

He stayed calm and stoic. His eyes were just looking at me as if he was trying to figure me out.

Then, he spoke gently. “So this is how it feels.”

I tilted my head trying to understand his words. “What?”

“I want you.” He said.

I heaved a deep sigh. “Prince, I have no time to play your mind games. I’m tired. Stop acting like a stalker, it doesn’t suit you.” I was about to walk away but he held me back.

“Wait. I just answered your question. I’m not even bothering you when you are working.”

“Mr. Collins, you are bothering me in every way. I don’t know what makes you think you want me. Please separate your past from the present, only then, we can find our own happiness.”

I looked at him but his eyes were filled with loneliness.

“I couldn’t find it until I found you.” He replied.

“I’m a man innmy past life! A mere knight who’s serving the empire and royal family. I don’t have any value at all.”

“That’s what you thought.”

My eyes widened in disbelief. “Pardon?”

“You were…my savior. Not because you died for me but because you are the one who made me feel safe every time in the palace. Your subtle presence around made me feel at ease. Like a friend whom I could not confide in but I know you were there supporting me all along. A nameless knight to everyone but you were someone who showed what sincerity means.”

My heart fluttered for a moment but my reality nudged at me.

“That was in the past. As you said, you were no longer the prince, and so am I. I am no longer that naive knight blindly looking at you
I… loved you just like a woman loving a man but…that was in the past.

We meet again while remembering our past lives but it doesn’t mean that we will still be the same as before. I…don’t have those feelings anymore.”

I could see his soul that was slowly breaking in his eyes. Is he really that prince I used to just snatch a glance from a far?

“Then, I can restart from here?”

“What?! I exclaimed.

“If I can’t go back to the past, if your feelings were not the same anymore, then, can I just make my own present with you and make you like my current self?”

“Why?” That’s the only question left on my mind.

“Just like you, I died that day when I failed to protect you and realize my feelings. I too, died that day you confessed to me.”

-FIN-

 

Read more from Ms. Reiu Somao-I by reading her previous entries at The Ugly Writers:

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Reiu Somao-i
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