Let me begin this letter by being honest; I am a writer.
I’m a writer and being a writer means laying inordinate deal of thought into the words we use in almost every situation we are in. Though letters and words are nothing but symbols used to epitomize the emotions we feel, it has the power to make anyone out there feel what is intended to be delivered. And thus, my words are more than often the result of my inability to convey my feelings and emotion in the simplest terms, because for me, it doesn’t even comes close to the reality and highest level of accuracy I want it to convey. And as I began this letter with honesty, I’m telling you that because I’m a writer one more catch comes with me. I don’t just read your words in texts or in papers like others do. I break down each sentence and interpret what it really meant. I analyze the way you use punctuation marks, verbs, adjectives and nouns. I don’t just listen with what you’re saying to me, I don’t just hear the words that leave your lips either. My ears perk up with the tone of each syllable and the intonation of the way you talk to me. But even though I’m a writer, I’m still not good at conversations, I prefer pen and paper. I prefer to organize the words on my mind in a piece of paper than to let it aimlessly out of my mouth making no sense at all.
my words are more than often the result of my inability to convey my feelings
And so I’m sorry because loving me will not be easy, because it will be hard. Because I will tend to be too much and not much at some times. Because I will definitely and most probably repeat some of the things you said more than once, just to know if I heard it right or not. Because I will overthink and overanalyze words coming out from your mouth. Because I will tend to say things I don’t mean, because I’m not good with it. Because I will always have a hard time speaking out what I really want to tell you.
Loving me will be hard, because I’m a writer and because opening up to you means allowing you to see me get tangled with ideas in my head that continuously try to ruin my mind. Because allowing you to love me means letting you be part of my world where comfort comes solely first from beautifully organized words. Because loving you as well means stepping out of the comfort of pen and paper and allowing you to carry me away like the wind can carry a paper.
Loving me will be hard I’m telling you. Because many times I will be a mess, much like a kid trying to figure out the alphabet for the first time. Because many times I will be chaotic, with too many words but not one to be enough to convey my feelings. Because I’m a writer and the way I’m loving you back can be overwhelming and definitely not like the usual and ordinary.
I’m hoping that you have enough patience when you love a writer, when you love me. Because when a writer loves, it’s worth it. Because we love the way we write our own love story.
We make sure every twist and turns are worth it.
We make sure it has a beautifully crafted happy ending.