Running has always helped me cope with stress. I would imagine that if I ran fast enough I would be able to leave all my problems behind, and they wouldn’t bother me anymore. That would just be wishful thinking, but at least it would keep me moving. My problems wouldn’t go away, but the endorphins from the workout would help me feel better.
This time, I need endorphins. I don my usual workout attire – a loose shirt, leggings and rubber shoes, and set out to run.
I walk down the Street as the cold November air envelopes me. My silence is disturbed by the beeping of car horns and the bickering of angry drivers. From afar I see the sky tinted by the colors of the setting sun. I walk faster.
It’s been 4 years since I first set foot on this part of the City. It was a few months after college graduation, and I was here to submit my application for medical school. I was young and idealistic, convinced that I can make the world a better place by becoming a doctor.
Now I’m here, a lost medical student who’s not even in school anymore. I have taken a leave hoping that I would recover from the troubles I have experienced. I have run out of reasons to live, and it has been difficult to get by.
I reach the seaside and see the sun glowing beautifully, painting the sky with pink, yellow and orange hues. Slowly, the glowing ball falls below the horizon, and I absorb the beauty of it all.
Then it starts to drizzle.
I head back home, with my initial plan postponed. Sadly, no workout endorphins today. But you know what? I have to live another day. I need to see the beauty of that sunset again.
By Karla Mae Cruzado