the story theuglywriters

the story so far

I've changed, lost a pound or 2 to depression and insecurity Realized what I lack was maturity  Because deep down I felt that I was hideous, People saying you look good? sounds ambiguous, Because who would love a fat-fuck who's…
Like strings of guitar, once new, sounds beautifully
Yet deteriorates as time preys on its frets,
Like fingertips which get covered in fingernails as the body produces more
Let me start again,
Like hair once short yet in time grows,
Such majestic beauty, like silk blowing in a summer breeze
Like eyes which once sees clearly yet now is a blur
Such as paper, once burnt can no longer serve its purpose,
Let me start again,
I was once a freshman, like an empty canvas, hollow of what can happen,
Shaped like a ball, burning like the warmth of the sun
Yet as time passes, so does shapes, and so does temperature
Talents rusts and so does being immature
I’ve changed, lost a pound or 2 to depression and insecurity
Realized what I lack was maturity
Because deep down I felt that I was hideous,
People saying you look good? sounds ambiguous,
Because who would love a fat-fuck who’s having a delusional breakdown thinking his so-called friends abandoned him?
That he only has one shot at love and that’s to waste it on someone who doesn’t deserve it?
That was me! And as time passes, so does years,
Like the time that I was once a sophomore,
Thought I knew more, that somehow I was wiser than before
Because I definitely wasn’t a dutz,
I’m cool, I make all chicks and chicks with dicks drool
Because I’m thin now, bitches
And I try to hide my misery with this fake stitches
Because still, I knew I was ugly,
I knew I was dirty because you have to do what you have to do to survive
And I felt that, I felt that being obese won’t end well
So as you can tell, I went and starved myself
I felt that every time I grabbed a bite
I would regret it,
Because I might gain what I lost
But at what cost? My health caved in
And my body was skin and bones
You could hear my body scream help by my voice’s tone
Yet I said nothing,
Because if I did, then people would realize that I had a problem
That my spirit was way broken
The most broken I’ve ever been
Like the time that I was once a junior
Where I finally tried to heal my wounds that was scarred into my spirit
Yet 3 shadows kept dissing and I was totally livid,
They made fun of the way he speaks, the way he walks, the way he wears his clothes
They never realized that he listened and was damaged because of their words
He was about to explode, was about to break and lose his sense of respect to the people around him
Yet he endured, he ignored, forgot and forgave
Buried his hatred as if his head was a grave
He moved forward, leaving everything behind,
Like his so-called talent to rhyme
Which was lost in the ocean of time
He felt empty, like his brain can no longer handle the pain,
What else can’t he attain?
He lost confidence, he craved the love of another Because he couldn’t love his self.
he is me
I couldn’t love myself, And I still can’t, i try but I can’t,
And it felt like I was the biggest failure, like I had no future to be better
Because I was struggling to learn, and it was becoming a problem
Like at this moment that I am a senior
I feel like I’ve lost half of my memory as if all my brain knows is this story of self-pity
And it scares me because I might not graduate, and you can say that it may not be too late to change
But I can’t because I can’t remove the fact that I am conscious of my well being
And I am conscious of what people can say, about my body, my brain, my story, my pain
Because I feel like I’m losing it
Every single bit, I feel as if my mental health is steadily declining
And with it, my spirit is dying but I have so much to live for
Because I was once a freshman,
I was once a sophomore,
A junior, and now I’m a senior,
That’s why I know I am stronger,
Way stronger than I was before.
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Reuben

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Ho Kai Teng (Sky Ho)Kuong Chi Ian (Chloe)Josh-GabEmmanuelRaven Recent comment authors
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Raven
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Lanuza, Raven Clay S.
Mar142

Emmanuel
Member

A sound mind in a sound body is important. Not all wounds are visible, so we have to be kind to people whatever they say or do. This makes us more mature and stronger. Inspirational!

– FIN 144 NATIONAL UNIVERSITY

Josh-Gab
Member

True!

Kuong Chi Ian (Chloe)
Member
Kuong Chi Ian (Chloe)

so true
-PRE161

Ho Kai Teng (Sky Ho)
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Life and works of Rizal
Activity PRE161

It’s true!!