the ugly writers

Don’t Try to Fix Me

I won’t try to fix you so don’t try to fix me. I’ll be me, you’ll be you that’s the best for you & me.

In an era of information, ignorance is a choice. Emotional IQ is important to avoid ignorance. It comes at the cost of dignity, rejection, misunderstanding, and of course the feeling of loneliness. You might mean well to loved ones, siblings, or friends; but in the end, they can’t be fixed. Every person has his or her own perception, pace, perspective, and most importantly, priorities. Priorities aren’t just goals, they can be hurt’s measuring units. What does hurt you might not hurt others. Then again, what means the world to you might not exist to others. People are strange but minds are stranger than fiction.

They say love of all sorts
changes love’s consorts.
But they never say
it’s a conditional stay.

Hope’s boat hardly floats
Help is a bay of hay
anchoring in delay
lit with dismay.

You can pour your heart
but words only spill trust.
You can express thought
but emotions spell bust.
And that’s how souls rust
as love decays in time’s dust.

Life is harsh for a mush
who cares too much.
The harder you push
the sooner your ambush.

It hurts when regret
is the best you can get.
It stings, it stinks
when fix sticks
hurt like a needle that pricks.

You try to understand
hoping to be understood.
But try is a hood
covering unrequited love
with insult as truth.

Cares are fallen hairs
from a heart that bears
loneliness’ flares
in love’s fairs.

People are lonely stairs
with attitudes for chairs.
Pull one out & it’ll break
under you then break
you to remind you:

You can’t fix people
with advice, because
change is strange
when you’re out of range.

I won’t try to fix you
so don’t try to fix me.
I’ll be me, you’ll be you
that’s the best for you & me.

Catch more of Pasithea Chan with her previous posts here. You can also find her brand of poetry on Facebook.

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Pasithea Chan
Pasithea is a budding Lebanese Filipino impressionist who enjoys writing poetry in symbolism laced with philosophy and psychology. Given her legal background having worked as legal and risk management consultant in MENA and the far east; she also writes legal and academic articles. Her creative writing has been read on several podcasts and radios and was featured in several magazines and anthologies including: Envision Arts, Rigorous, Fevers of the Mind, Osprey's Empire, Voices of the Real and Suicide. Having written 2500+ poems and more than 12 short stories; Pasithea writes in various styles but prefers pieces that have double meanings to allow a reader to delve deeper into her works. https://ello.co/pasitheaanimalibera

100 Comments

  1. “You can’t fix people
    with advice, because
    change is strange
    when you’re out of range.

    I won’t try to fix you
    so don’t try to fix me.
    I’ll be me, you’ll be you
    that’s the best for you & me.”

    Grace!

  2. Krishia Joy Delarmente
    Krishia Joy Delarmente

    The poem is true, we can’t fix everyone even if it’s our own family and friends, same goes to me. Only I can’t fix myself, other people may contribute to it but the final decision will always depend on me.

  3. We all want to conform with one another not knowing that we are different with one another, we have different perceptions and opinions regarding our personal matters. Most of the time people wants to comfort and be comforted but the truth is, only ourselves can understand us and fix us from the damage that has been caused by circumstances and maybe other people.

  4. It is true that no one in this world can fix ourselves because we are the only one who can fix ourselves. Ourselves is the one who can understand us and the one who we can trust in a situation that other people don’t understand and trust us. Ourselves is our only ally who can fix us in a world that no one will help us.

  5. To comfort is to support, not to change him/her on he/she wants to do in life.

  6. Everyone has their own perception in life, which is why we don’t help others so that we can change them completely, but we help them so that they can become a better person. The same things goes within ourselves, because others can’t change who we are like how we can’t change them.

    Present

  7. Yes, we can’t change anyone but we can do it on ourselves. All of us have different perspectives in life all we need to do is to accept and not to judge.

    Present!

  8. What means the world to you might not exist to others, means don’t expect something in return when you gave something to someone . Love is not what you always think it can betray you and the other person involved. You can’t change someone else and no one can change you, a meaningful sentence that means for me that you’re the controller of your own life. You can change for the best or bad, it depends to you.

    Present

  9. Leyvi Ann Soriano
    Leyvi Ann Soriano

    We all people don’t have to change ourselves for others because it will not help us. We just have to stay on who we are and stand on who really are and what we really wants. We don’t have to fix others because we have differences that instead of fixing them we may just broke them and put things not in order.

  10. Present.- Reina Meneses

  11. Plaza, Audrey O.
    Plaza, Audrey O.

    “I won’t try to fix you
    so don’t try to fix me.
    I’ll be me, you’ll be you
    that’s the best for you & me.”

    It’s okay for us to tell people some wrongdoings of them, for them to correct it, themselves. However, let us not force them to change. We did our part. It’s now up to them how they will handle that. Let people do what they want to do. Let them be themselves. Let us enjoy our life the way we want it.

    ACT 185, present!

  12. We have a personal opinion and perception to our life. So you have a mind and knowledge if you are going influence by others. Action without words are misleading.

    Present Sir? ACT185

  13. “You can pour your heart
    but words only spill trust.
    You can express thought
    but emotions spell bust.
    And that’s how souls rust
    as love decays in time’s dust.”

    “I won’t try to fix you
    so don’t try to fix me.
    I’ll be me, you’ll be you
    that’s the best for you & me.”

    -ACT185(Present)

  14. We can’t change what is done, we should learn from that and try to be matured for you to grow as you are.

  15. Plaza, Audrey O.
    Plaza, Audrey O.

    “I won’t try to fix you
    so don’t try to fix me.
    I’ll be me, you’ll be you
    that’s the best for you & me.”

    It’s okay for us to tell people some wrongdoings of them, for them to correct it, themselves. However, let us not force them to change. We did our part. It’s now up to them how they will handle that. Let people do what they want to do. Let them be themselves. Let us enjoy our life the way we want it.

    ACT 185, present!

  16. “You can pour your heart
    but words only spill trust.
    You can express thought
    but emotions spell bust.
    And that’s how souls rust
    as love decays in time’s dust.”

    “I won’t try to fix you
    so don’t try to fix me.
    I’ll be me, you’ll be you
    that’s the best for you & me.”

    -ACT185(Present)

  17. “You can pour your heart
    but words only spill trust.
    You can express thought
    but emotions spell bust.
    And that’s how souls rust
    as love decays in time’s dust.”

    “I won’t try to fix you
    so don’t try to fix me.
    I’ll be me, you’ll be you
    that’s the best for you & me.”

    <3
    -ACT185(Present)

  18. You can’t fix others if you can’t fix yourself. So if you want to fix other people start fixing yourself first.

    ACT 185 PRESENT

  19. Always remember that at the end of the day, nothing else but only you and people who truly know you will save you. You’re the one who really know who you are.

    Present.

  20. The way we view things is different for every people. We shouldn’t change ourselves for other people but we should do it for ourselves. We also can’t force other people to change so that they can live up to our expectations rather we should just help and support them when they decided to change.

  21. “Stop trying to ‘fix’ yourself; you’re NOT broken! You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.”

    The beauty of focusing on your strengths is that it not only benefits you, it benefits those around.

  22. “Stop trying to ‘fix’ yourself; you’re NOT broken! You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.”

    The beauty of focusing on your strengths is that it not only benefits you, it benefits those around.

  23. “Stop trying to ‘fix’ yourself; you’re NOT broken! You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.”

    The beauty of focusing on your strengths is that it not only benefits you, it benefits those around.

  24. We must need to focus to fix ourselves first before others so that when the time comes, you can help to fix others.

    -ACT185(Present)

  25. We don’t need to change our self in order to accept by other. We can show who we are. Some people out there well accept your flows. Don’t fix your self just to fit in. Love your self.❤️

  26. “Stop trying to fix yourself, you are not broken, you are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.”
    The beauty of focusing on your strengths is that it not only benefits you, it benefits those around.

    Present! ACT185

  27. “Stop trying to fix yourself, you are not broken, you are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.”

    The beauty of focusing on your strengths is that it not only benefits you, it benefits those around.

    Present. ACT185

  28. “Stop trying to fix yourself, you are not broken, you are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.”
    The beauty of focusing on your strengths is that it not only benefits you, it benefits those around. Present. ACT185

  29. Do not let others fix you, because you are the one who is responsible for your own development. Stop trying to fix yourself, you are not broken, you are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.
    The beauty in focusing on your strengths is that it does not only benefits you, but also, it benefits those around you.
    Present. ACT185

  30. “Stop trying to fix yourself, you are not broken, you are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.”

    The beauty of focusing on your strengths is that it not only benefits you, it benefits those around.

    Present. ACT185

  31. “…You can’t fix people
    with advice, because
    change is strange
    when you’re out of range.

    I won’t try to fix you
    so don’t try to fix me.
    I’ll be me, you’ll be you
    that’s the best for you & me.”

    I believe that people vary from one another and we can’t change someone in our own favor. This change depends on your own decision as an individual whether you change for the better or worst.

    Palermo, Ma. Bernadette M.
    ACT 185

  32. Only you, yourself, is capable of bringing change into your own life. You think you can change other people but you really can’t, and that is the truth that you must accept.

    Chila Prado
    ACT 184

  33. The thing is that, people tend to ask for other people’s advice just to have someone they can vent out with; not because they want to get fixed but rather have someone by their side in times of need.

  34. ACT182
    Acceptance is the key. We should learn that we can advice others, but we can’t fix them. We all have differences.

  35. SHAN ARVIE LEDESMA
    SHAN ARVIE LEDESMA

    (ACT184) You cannot fix other people because it’s their own job to fix themselves.

  36. ACT 182

    Based on my interpretation, we have different personalities, attitude, perception and mind-setting. Maybe my beautiful to me is ugly to others. There will be an instances that we accidentally came up with a decision that doesn’t satisfy others. So, we are all allowed to disagree one’s decision but make sure do it with respect.

  37. Isiah David Dones
    Isiah David Dones

    Dones, Isiah David (ACT182)

    There are a lot of people that can contribute to you, but at the end of the day the only thing who can fix you is no other than yourself.

  38. Ashley Angelique M. Asinas
    Ashley Angelique M. Asinas

    There is no one who can fix us but ourselves, and it is better to be true in every aspect of life

  39. Anne Klein Serrano
    Anne Klein Serrano

    ACT-182
    It is true that change will depend on us if we want or if we don’t want. Don’t make other people try to change you or change them.

  40. Just don’t depend on other just be yourself and don’t let others change you. I don’t believe that others can’t change us because change is a choice. If we want to changes ourselves base on what other want it’s possible and it’s our choice.

  41. Love is difficult, dont try to be someone youre not

  42. Elianar dela Peña
    Act 182

    We should learn how to fix ourselves and not to rely this kind of obligation to others.

  43. Ignacio, Kyla Faye L.
    ACT182

    We can’t fix anyone but we can always be there for them when they are trying to fix themselves. We ourselves is the only person that can fix ourselves no one can change us they may be part of us changing our self but the thing is that we should be the one who’s doing it.

  44. Arevalo, Keycie Ann S.
    ACT-182

    Prioritizing yourself is a must for you to build as an individual. Knowing that you’re trust and love for yourself is already enough is the best time to fix others because we all need to remember that broken holes needs to be fixed first before fixing another hole.

  45. Clarisse Anne Salipot
    Clarisse Anne Salipot

    We can’t fix others especially when they dont want to.

    Act182

  46. “I won’t try to fix you
    so don’t try to fix me.
    I’ll be me, you’ll be you
    that’s the best for you & me.”

    Don’t try to fix someone, if you can’t fix yourself.

    ACT182-BENIGNO, FRANCES MONIQUE M.

  47. To the author of this article,

    It’s okay to let the pain through, because as what they said, “that’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.”
    It requires you to be fully consumed by the hurt, to be bothered by the cause, and to be submerged in the agony. Because that’s how it should be—that’s how you deal with the ache that isn’t event welcome in the first place, the ache that breaks every part of you, the very same ache that stings sharply and exhaustively. Let the pain remind you that you’re only human: bound to feel anything, have an open wound that bleeds, and will eventually heal little by little.

    Mercado, Sheilla Mae O.
    ACT182

  48. Erika Yvette Lopez
    Erika Yvette Lopez

    Change for yourself to be better. Don’t change because others told you to do so. Love yourself.
    -Lopez, Erika Yvette B.
    ACT 184

  49. ACT-182
    Fix yourself first before trying to pry someone else’s life. Everyone of us has their own personality with different perspective. We have our unique way of showing empathy and sympathy towards other people. Its seems so easy to become a pro when it comes in giving advices and sharing opinions to someone who is in need of your aid. But in reality, we can’t even apply it to ourselves.

  50. Mary Erica G. Gregorio
    Mary Erica G. Gregorio

    It is not your obligation to fix others but it is your obligation to fix yourself when you are loosing in the process.

    ACT184
    Gregorio, Mary Erica

  51. Change what you cannot accept and accept what you cannot change. We are unique in so many ways, choices is one of them. We choose differently because we don’t have similar destination in life. Priority is even invented because we all have it but just different.
    ACT182- Jonathan B. Arcayna

  52. “I won’t try to fix you
    so don’t try to fix me.
    I’ll be me, you’ll be you
    that’s the best for you & me”

    You dont have to change for others to like you, just be yourself and everything you do will be at best .

    ACT 182

  53. Dianna Faye L. Cabungcal
    Dianna Faye L. Cabungcal

    Dianna Faye Cabungcal
    ACT-182

    There are people who’s willing to help us but at the end of the day, the decisions will depend on ourselves and on how we will cope up with the situation. It is only me who can fix myself but I know that I still need people who will be with me all throughout the journey.

  54. We cannot fix other people but we can make a way to make them feel better. Every person is responsible for his/her feelings and actions so it is his/her obligation to fix his/her own problem.

    Manalo, Jolinah O.
    ACT- 184

  55. April Ann Moselina
    April Ann Moselina

    People are not used to see something new about you when you suddenly changed. Sometimes it’s better for you to be genuine.

    ACT184

  56. I agree. Nice article!
    PRINCESS MARIE A JUAN ACT184

  57. Macnell Joseph Panlaqui
    Macnell Joseph Panlaqui

    It’s not your job to fix others unless they want to. Always remember that you, yourself can only fix your own life.

  58. Thank you all for reading and contemplating my work. I appreciate your input. The life of a poet is a tango between experiences and contemplation. I lead a life of gratitude that isn’t set in attitude but rather in an outlook that dictates balance. Most of my work is written in symbolism laced with a philosophy I’ve developed while going through life. And that is why you will see nature and psychology with a social hint in my work but not everything I write is purely based on my personal exposure or experience. Many of the topics I mirror in my writing are from what I observe in my surroundings. This piece is no different. I wrote this piece to help people sort what qualifies as a burden/worry that need to be addressed from what is not. Once again, I thank you all for reading and your valuable input. You all have yourselves a rockintastic day/Night. God bless you All.

  59. The problem with us people is that when we are loosing ourselves in the process, we intend to find other people who can fix us. Thats why when they fucked up, we are lost. Also, a lot of people thinks that its a charity work to fix other people and get abused in return. Always remember that its not your job to fix them, but its your job to protect yourself.

    MA. ALCYRA AIRA M. SANTOS
    ACT 184

  60. You can’t just say anything to anyone that makes them change, you can’t fixed anyone by a words and you can’t accept changes when you are not fix.

    CYRILLE ANN DAPPIT ACT 184

  61. sometimes the only person you can truly depend on is yourself. If ever things in life gets messed it should be you who is going to fix you.

  62. Princess Leah Banoy
    ACT 184
    All people are different, and as humans it is part of our nature to have a choice, whether you will let people to change you, or it is you who will change them, but then again we have our own lives and it is up to us to decide. at the end of the day it is you and your life that is in your control, and the choices we will make will define who we will be in the future. Make a change, make a difference, but before you do that to other, try to have that first in yourself!

  63. “When you try to solve people’s problems for them, you rob them of the most valuable teacher there is: discomfort.”

    Dela Rosa, Ashley Nhicollete G.
    ACT184

  64. Princess leah Banoy
    ACT 184
    As humans, part of our nature is making choices, whether we will let other people to change us or not or it is us who will change them and let us. But at the end of the day it is our choices that will lead and define who we will be in the future, and it is our lives that is in our control. Make a change, make a difference, but even before you do that, you need to have that first in yourself!

  65. We cannot change people’s beliefs easily. Sometimes it is what hurts us. Things never go with how we picture them because just like what the author implied that minds are strange and unpredictable. Maybe what we really need in order to feel contentment is not to change other people but to start the change in ourselves.

  66. “When you try to solve people’s problems for them, you rob them of the most valuable teacher there is: discomfort.”

    Dela Rosa, Ashley Nhicollete G.
    ACT184

  67. you can get support, opinions, influences from other people around you, but no one can truly help us but ourselves, ourselves is the only thing who can change us from where we are right now coz everything may understand us but not as deeply as we can understand ourselves.

    ACT 184

  68. Andrea Fernandez
    Andrea Fernandez

    Change in every person will just happen if that person him/herself will start and do a step to make that change. You can’t change someone, and vice versa, other people can’t also change you.

  69. We must learn to fix our own selves. Present. ACT-184

  70. Ramos, Patricia Gwen Louise P.
    ACT184

    Each person has his own , independent self and we must understand and respect that. There may be times wherein we tend to get too involved with other people’s business but we have to know our place. Sometimes, there are things that are better off being dealt with alone. All we can offer is our support to that person. This is also applicable to ourselves. There are times that we’re in a situation that requires us to do things alone and sometimes other people’s involvement would only cause more problems.

  71. No one will fix you but your own self. But, do not be afraid of being scarred or broken because we were not born perfect, we are perfectly imperfect. Use your weaknesses as your motivation to turn it as your strengths. There is a saying that “no man is an island” but remember that there are times that the only person that can help you at your lowest is your self.

    Present. ACT185

  72. No one can change yourself except you.

  73. Sapa, Rhia F. ACT 184

    Before we fix others, we have to fix our own problems first. Because what’s the sense of fixing someone’s issues when you can’t even fix your own issues.

  74. Justin James Siazon
    Justin James Siazon

    We can fix other people by influencing them through our voice, and our existence. It’s either in a good way or in a bad way.

  75. Nobody can fix us, except ourselves. Nobody will help you stand up, unless you make a move to take a step forward, endure the pain and be a better version of yourself.
    ACT184

  76. You are not in control in each everyone changes you want for them. Advices serve only as their guide in making decision. Still it’s their choice. Fix yourself first before others.

    Shaivie Rose P. Javier
    ACT 184

  77. Fix yourself first before the others.

  78. The only person you have control over is yourself. We can start the change in ourselves but we cannot change the other people. I can change my life and no one can do it for me.

    ACUZAR, JOYCE C. ACT184

  79. The only one who understand and fix yourself is you

  80. Surround yourself with people who accepts who you are.

    183

  81. Focus and fix yourself first before others.

    ACT 184 – Naron, Grei-Anne B.

  82. You can’t fix someone and we can’t be fix by someone because we are the one who is responsible for ourself. We experienced frown, defeat, failures and rejection and because of that we feel damage by our own thoughts, and we think we need someone that will help us. Yes, we need someone that will help us but not will fix us. We need them in order to regain our confidence to face our own thoughts and problems.

    Christine Sael
    ACT184

  83. Love yourself.

    Kevin Aldrin De Guzman
    ACT184

  84. Jhozelle Tandaguen
    Jhozelle Tandaguen

    You should not try to please everybody around you

  85. This poem reminds me a lot from my experiences from different people and myself, we can’t fix other people just because we want them to be alright. It will always be their choice. Similar to our self situation if we want to improve or change something in ourselves the decisions depends on us, the efforts and supports of other people are nothing if we will not do an effort too for it.

  86. Act181

    Love is not a fairytale. It is not found the way it is built. You can never have the same type of love and the one you imagined. We are all bunch of lonely people who are trying to prove that love can change a person, so the world. But in reality, there’s always a side for second choice, being taken advantage of and unrequited.

    Love heals but love fades, both through time. Love is joy but with pain and sacrifices, still pays off on time.

  87. You cannot fix others if you cannot fix yourself. You cannot love others if you cannot love yourself.

    Act 181

  88. Christine Alysza C. Anquilan
    Christine Alysza C. Anquilan

    “I won’t try to fix you
    so don’t try to fix me.
    I’ll be me, you’ll be you
    that’s the best for you & me.”

    Nobody can heal the broken pieces of yourself but you. Help yourself to heal your wounded soul because it’s just you that can help to save yourself in the pit of darkness.

  89. Rachelle Anne M. Villacorte
    Rachelle Anne M. Villacorte

    Act181
    In the end, it is still our decision and choice if we wanted to change and be fixed. No one else is responsible from it aside from you.

  90. People may help you throughout your journey but at the end, only yourself could fix you because all of us taking different path and some people might not encounter problems that is same as yours.

  91. Ella Mae R. De Paz
    Ella Mae R. De Paz

    We don’t have to fix anyone, all we need to do is to fix ourselves because we have our own life and it depends to us on how we handle it.

  92. When you truly love someone, you will accept her/him at any condition. Any advice cant help someone unless you experience the same thing.

    Act181

  93. Joshua Bernardino
    Joshua Bernardino

    Joshua R. Bernardino, CIV192, Art Appreciation, Colors, MX

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