Stay is a lengthy poem written and shared by Binibining E to The Ugly Writers under the theme Love for the month of May.
For years I wanted to tell you how I feel about you.
It all started when I first met you, just the usual thing, flirting.
But then days have passed and our conversation got deeper and deeper it got me thinking this is not flirting anymore.
We would talk about everything under the sun, the moon and even those that the light can’t even reach.
We have some common interest and that lifts me up.
My thoughts always wander with you in it.
At times we have lost in touch but would always find each other back, whatever platform it may be.
Now I wonder what is this feeling?
Is this infatuation or is this what people called love.
Is jealousy also part of this “thing”
Because I do feel it at times, my mind would tell me You are talking to someone else. Someone much better. Someone pretty. Someone more sensible. Someone who has depth much more than I do.
I know what I am feeling right now is wrong. We are just friends, right?
For the longest time, I would deny to myself that I am beginning to like you. Everything about you. Flaws and all.
But would there be any chance that someone with so high standards would like someone like me?
Questions are lingering as always.
Why do I feel so emotionally invested when I see or hear your name.
Why does sadness creep into me whenever I think of you.
Why does happiness seep through me each time your face appears on my memory.
Why do I become ecstatic every time I remember how your voice sounds like.
Maybe I won’t have the way how to tell You what I am feeling because I don’t know what is this “thing”.
I know I am a brave girl but I am so lacking in courage to show You what I feel even if I wanted to.
Maybe, just maybe You might run through this and thinks that this is You. The You that I like so much. The You that this heart is crying for. The You that this whole me is beating for. The You that I can’t even be honest about this “thing” I am feeling.
Maybe I’ll get over this in time. But for now, I want this thing to linger just for a bit. It may hurt but I am willing. So, just a little bit longer. Stay.