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Elements of Self

Perspectives on Psychopathic Psychology found in every-day life. Self-Discovery Project
ELEMENTS OF SELF is an editorial written by Syl Sebastian and shared with The Ugly Writers under the theme Independence for the month of July.
Audio-pics vid with subtitles/CC:

A friend posted a link to 40 Psychopath Facts That Will Give You The Creeps, with this comment:

“This was interesting in that all 40 can pertain to someone [I know] ~ quite startling. However, there’s one very very important factor: The behaviour is not deliberate, it’s largely inadvertent and that makes a huge difference, that’s the saving grace.”


Legacy Superiority Distortions

It set me to thinking… I would say we all have elements of the psychopath in us. It’s the Ego-Aspect sub-personality. That part of us which is predicated on the Superiority Paradigm and fixated on self-promotion and appearing better, gaining approval etc. This Aspect-of-Self cares only about *Relative* superiority and has no absolute standards. Thus no morality or ethics. Doing whatever’s necessary to obtain its goals and objectives.

The degree to which this Aspect-of-Self or sub-personality is developed and utilised determines how much of the psychopath we have in us. If this Aspect-of-Self becomes the main and dominant personality we have a full blown psychopath, the kind which becomes a serial killer or other forms of criminality.

However, it’s a matter of degree. Understanding there can be Aspects-of-Self, or sub-personalities, psychological software, which thinks and behaves in psychopathic terms, is crucial to the Understanding of Self. A legacy program from our ancestral times when personal physical survival was the most predominant aspect and focus of our being. Physical superiority was thus a critical issue and extremely important.

Over time as the physical survival superiority no longer became the predominant factor, the superiority shifted to status and self-importance, to all the nonsense of ego. The lack of morality and ethics of this Aspect-of-Self, of this psychological perspective, stems from the absolutism of the physical survival paradigm. When it’s kill or be killed, there’s no room for any other perspectives. It’s an absolute circumstance, where ethics and morality are not a factor.

The More of Collaboration

But… we *Do* evolve, we *Can* evolve. We *HAVE* evolved. We posses the ability to evolve deliberately, able to move beyond these primitive mindsets and paradigms. Especially when we understand community is way more effective as a survival organism and we realise individual personal survival is no longer the most important standard. It’s been superseded by the Community Paradigm.

Purely physical survival is also no longer the primary issue. What’s the point of physical existence only without spiritual development? There’s *More* to Life. Much much More, than mere physical survival. Once we become Aware of the More the onus is on us to move away from legacy primitive paradigms. As individuals we need to get with the program of Personal Evolution. We can utilise the benefit of community to enhance our individuality, to evolve, to learn and grow, to contribute via this to the whole, and to ourselves.

By aligning ourselves to the Overall Paradigms we can transcend the restrictions of the severely limited and narrow perspectives inherent in the primitive physical survival psychology. Psychopaths and those who embrace ego and the superiority paradigm in its varying degrees need to grow up for heaven’s sake. Living one’s life continuously in fear is so petty and foolish, achieving nothing. We can do better.

The Rainbow Choices of Difference

Distorted psychologies are typically dominated by fear of relative inferiority or supposed relative lack of status and all the related imagined dreads. (Sensibility regarding our physical security does not have to involve fear. Simply strategic prudence.) This fear of being lesser is an absurd perspective when applied psychologically, as it completely ignores the reality of *Difference.* It’s like saying one colour is superior to another, simply nonsensical. As people, as psychologies, as personalities, we are the colours and shades of this marvellous rainbow called life.

What hue and tint we choose to be as a person is determined by how much effort we are willing to make for the rewards those efforts bring. How much reward is worth the effort depends entirely on the individual. There’s no better or worse when it comes to the Circle of Effort-Reward. It’s an entirely individual choice and no one can say there’s any better or worse choice for another. Only the individual can determine what’s worth the effort to them. Thus there can be no better or worse when it comes to *personhood.* We might believe so because we choose to buy into the superiority paradigm, but in actuality any “improvements” are offset by the effort costs involved. Where we are as individuals is always a trade-off, always an individual choice. This is the glory of *Difference.*


Elements of Self

“Should” Dominance

If we look internally, and look at how much of the psychopath is in us, we are actually determining how much we ascribe to the superiority paradigm. How much we have been fooled and seduced by its false song. We can break free from this absurd psychology. Especially when we connect it to that subtle but oh-so-powerful evil of “Should.” These subtle implied and inadvertently assimilated “Shoulds” coerce us into believing we “Should” seek superiority, we “Should” be *relatively* “better than,” we “Should” seek status and self-importance and we should at all costs seek to be *relatively* superior to at least one other, so we aren’t at the bottom of the “pecking order.”

This is all fine and well if one wants to live like a chicken. But as humans we have other options. Many other Options-of-Being. Our happiness, survival, individuality and Way-of-Being are most absolutely *NOT* predicated on any relative comparison to others. Simply look around at those who are happy, joyful, content, at ease with themselves and the world, and invariably, if it’s true happiness and joy, one will find a free and individual independent person. Someone who’s unhooked from the incessant pressures of the superiority paradigm.

Those who wish to escape the “pecking order” by being the apex don’t realise cock-of-the-walk or top-dog carries its own share of stress and risk. It’s simply a different stress and risk. The way to eliminate the hassles of pecking order is to simply not be part of that system at all. We can be true and free *Individuals.* We do *Not* have to buy into that pecking order, regardless of what others may want to do.

As humans we have evolved. Physical pecking is no longer a part of our society and is in fact illegal. The only “pecking” which can occur is psychological. When it comes to psychological influence we, us, ourselves, we have *full* and complete control over what we allow. Of course we might have to make a bit of effort to actualise this freedom and control. But that’s really all we need to do, realise it *IS* an option for us. Then all we need do is go about exercising our option to be free, independent and individual.


Part of this Understanding, this realisation, this Knowing-of-Self, is being Aware that “I is More Than One.” Knowing and Understanding the Self is composed of parts is essential. We have to have at least two in order to be aware of ourselves. Those parts, or Aspects, personality and character Aspects, are for the most part leftover self-development programs. From selves which proved to be unsustainable or unworkable. These leftover Aspects are like unfinished software programs, abandoned because they proved to be deficient in some way. Or they are specialist  psychologies which only work and function in very specific circumstances.

Being Aware we are thus comprised of different parts, different Selves, which, due to circumstances we could become immersed in, greatly enhances our abilities to deal with ourselves. For instance, the personality aspect that likes order and organisation. It’s prevalent to varying degrees and usually manifests in the more extreme as the neat-freak or super anal personality, or when it takes over and becomes permanent and predominant it can manifest as obsessive-compulsion and similar. But in moderation it’s useful and valuable.

Likewise, we need to understand that the psychopath Aspect, the psychopath personality Aspect is also in us there somewhere. It’s commonly referred to as the Ego. How much or how little we immerse in the ego determines how much of a psychopath we are. Psychopathic behaviour does not necessarily entail extremes like murder or torture and the like. It’s simply at base, the absence of scruples, ethics, morals, principles and other behavioural standards.

Psychopathic behaviour is when the behaviour is directed by goals without regard for anyone else or any standards, particularly, goals of self-satisfaction and indulgence. And of course goals which are outside of the boundaries of communally beneficial activities. Psychopathic goals are goals benefiting the individual at the expense of others and the community. Bullying is a very typical manifestation of psychopathic psychology. This is how I perceive it.

Elements of Self

The Paradox of Selfish

Bullying is of course not confined to physical acts. The most insidious variation of bullying is that which we perpetrate on ourselves. By allowing influence and by taking on the various pressures of “should.” We only think we need to bow to the pressures of others and of society, but of course this is a myth. There’s absolutely no need to do so. We can be individuals and live psychologically independent lives. We simply have to overcome the *idea* that it’s problematic. Once we break free of this notion, this inaccurate conception, we realise how easy it truly is to be a free individual, one true to themselves and true to real values, Ethics and Integrity. Someone who has real character and actual Substance-of-Being.

The psychopathic personality might believe it’s acting freely, it’s after all, satisfying its own desires, and doesn’t care about others. But this is of course a massively short-sighted perspective. Selfishness, in the classic definition of the word, is really short-sightedness. The overall, entire long-term self does *NOT* overally benefit from what is typically regarded as selfish behaviour. But benefits to all of humanity, to all of the world, also benefit the individual.

Having standards, scruples, morals, ethics, principles, having regard for others, having consideration, and having an understanding of the Value of interaction via cooperation and community is profoundly beneficial to the individual and thus really selfish in the long-run if we look at it that way. Without those qualities, functioning is indeed a problematic exercise of living. It’s this understanding that the primitive, childish and unsophisticatedly idiotic psychopathic psychology does not understand. It just doesn’t get the logic that benefitting others benefits self. It doesn’t get the fundamentally profoundly significant concept of *Integrity.* It refuses to consider the responsibility of ethics. The psychopathic psychology is a profoundly self-indulgent psychology.

The psychopath mindset, or the psychology of ego, is an extremely myopic and limited Awareness world-view. It can’t see much further than its immediate wants and desires, and thus loses out massively in the long run. It believes, even in the less severe forms of the psychology, that “putting one over others,” or, “getting the best of another,” or, “coming out on top,” are all highly desirable. It doesn’t realise the longer term limitations of its abusive behaviours. Because of this immersion into the desires and ambitions of self, there’s a lack of perspective, a lack of Awareness as to what’s truly going on.

Bubble Mindset

Self-absorbed selfishness is truly the Psychology-of-the-Bubble. And at the ordinary levels which we encounter the psychopathic personality, what we typically know as the ego, or ego personality, we see this bubble awareness. Ego, self-importance, vanity and so on are all manifestations of this psychology. And if we look closely, there’s inevitably the same factor present in all of them – the belief that their doings are private and hidden. When in actuality this isn’t so at all. It’s a massive myth of indulgence.

In reality, the shenanigans, lies, abuses, cheating, scheming and other distortions are obvious to many. Only those caught in similar bubbles might not see this egregious behaviour. Even then, most recognise those similar to them, but choose not to acknowledge. What makes the psychopathic, or ego psychology think it gets away with its abuses is the fact that for most sensible people with ethics and standards and integrity, they simply choose not to interact with the ego personalities. They stay away from the psychopathic no matter how little the manifestation. When they do have to interact, they simply ignore or work around the foolishness and unethical behaviour. It’s much easier and less problematic than “calling out” the idiocies. When one is dealing with this kind of ego perspective, it’s much simpler to simply find ways of minimising the interaction than it is to confront.

Besides, what others choose to do is their business.  It’s not for us to go around commenting on the behaviour of others. Unless it directly affects us, it’s none of our business. When it does directly affect us we can say or do something, otherwise it’s problematic. Most of the time the questionable behaviour is just that, questionable. It’s squirrelly, skirting the edges of decency and is seldom outright criminal. This is in the typical manifestation of the psychopathic psychology in it’s non-criminal variation, keeping close to that edge. Maintaining an appearance of decency and legitimacy is how this psychology gets by.

Worst of all, it fools itself into believing no-one knows what it is. But of course many know, if not most. They simply choose not to get involved and leave these people to their own doings. It’s a sad business. This psychology at most of its various levels and manifestations is a lonely existence. It’s one of perpetual self-delusion and self-justification. And all because of the adherence to the myth of the desirability of superiority. It’s a desperation really.

Hard Looks

The thing is to recognise this Aspect within ourselves. To look beyond its shortsighted calls to immediate gratification and shortcuts. When we look past the petty and trivial benefits this Aspect promises, we realise its puerile sensibility. What makes it so incredibly idiotic is the sheer unnecessariness of this mindset. It’s all based on the fear of inadequacy. The belief that being simple and basic and uncomplicated, being genuine and acting with integrity, is not enough. When of course it’s way more than sufficient. It’s a massive falsehood that’s sadly self-perpetuated, this idea one has to cheat and lie and pretend in order to “get ahead.” Utterly untrue of course.

Sadly the minimal measures of success attained by the abusive individual cultivates and entrenches the belief their Way-of-Being is valid. Doesn’t seem to matter that as time goes by there’s no further value, no grand payoff and wonderful success, but yet the habits of the psychopathic psychology have become entrenched. It’s a disastrously sad and terrible trap. All for what? Nothing really. Feeble gains, dearly paid for. Paid for with a stress filled empty life.

It makes one think. And stop and pause. And consider. Where is it we cross the line? How is it we sell our souls one tiny piece at a time? And for what? For a bit of approval from someone else? A meaningless and temporary palliative for a distorted belief. A belief and idea acquired from those who seek to justify, condone, and sell their own psychopathic psychologies. This is the great evil of “should.” That we engage in ridiculous behaviour simply because it is part of commonly accepted norms. If we look back in history to what was commonly accepted behaviour, we are horrified. And we should be no less horrified at our own complicity in this crime of conformity. It’s a potent reminder to live with deliberate, conscious Choice, Attention, and Awareness. Otherwise we partake in the perpetuation of a broken culture and paradigm.

Elements of Self

Tiny Acts of Courage

All we really have to do is have that small bit of courage to take that first step on the Path to Independence. It is so little and yet for some so unnecessarily far away. What a tragedy. The ego personality, the vain, the approval seekers and panderers, the self-important, all these variants of the psychopathic psychology dwell in the bubble of belief that their crappy behaviours  are somehow beneficial to them. When the Awful Truth is that of course it’s not. Incredibly the bubbles they live in prevent them from becoming aware of just exactly how ludicrous their behaviour really is. If they were to see themselves as others do, they would be horrified. It’s the nascent Awareness of this terrifying truth which keeps them mired in their folly.

At some point in our lives we have to acknowledge what utter idiots we’ve been. It’s then that we cross the threshold and start to truly live. Live real lives. Lives built on Integrity, on true and real choices. Choices we make because *We* want to. *Not* because we are “supposed to” or we “should.” All it needs is a bit of Trust in ourselves. Trust that we *Can* learn. Trust that if we make the effort we *can* figure things out. Trust that if we’re real and true, things can, will, and do, work out. Trust that no matter what, sacrificing ourselves to the folly of psychopathy is not at all worth it. Trust and insistence that integrity and genuineness is enough. And, of course, they are.

Because when we live *real* lives, lives comprised of our *own* choices, then it’s easy to be happy, joyful and fulfilled, regardless of the circumstances we may find ourselves in. When we realise what makes us happy is who and what we are, not what we have accomplished or attained. Happiness is of course internally determined. Not externally. Happiness and satisfaction determined or derived from outside of the self is the myth of the psychopath. What we *can* do as individuals is to be true to ourselves, whatever that may be. What makes our self valuable to us is that it’s *real*. It’s the only thing that’s truly real, that which we choose by ourselves.

This is why the distorted ego-self and all its derivatives are doomed to unhappiness.  Nothing is real in that existence. We have to be extremely careful of adopting that mindset even for the briefest of moments. Selling one’s soul is a costly business indeed. Each time we sacrifice our Integrity it’s like making a little hole in the hull of our lives. That ship becomes more and more waterlogged and eventually flounders before sinking. No thanks, not for me. That’s a price way to high to pay. And for what? A bit of praise and approval. A bit of a shortcut here and there. And even if there’s some sort of major gain, at what price? Living a perpetual lie. Sacrificing the long-term for the short-term. Not for me. But this is exactly the fallacy the psychopathic psychology is deluded with. It’s monumentally sad and tragic.

We can easily fall prey to the belief that we have nothing, when in actuality, if we have lived with Integrity, we have plenty. And even if we have not, we can change, and become real, and have plenty. It doesn’t take much. Just a simple uncompromising honesty and a willingness to deal with the Awful Truth.

It’s *never* too late. Because we live in the Now, not in the past or the future. Self-Discovery Project
Elements of Self

#Should #AwfulTruth #Difference #EffortReward #Ego #IndependenceOfBeing #Integrity #PsychopathPsychology #SelfImportance #SuperiorityParadigm #OUTBS
Read previous entries from Syl Sebastian at The Ugly Writers:
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Syl Sabastian

Syl Sabastian

"I admit to being an unusual person." - SS

From a comment on his profile pic, since writing one's own bio is so difficult:

“Beautiful and astounding. Kind of resembles an amazing character I know. Some call him the Weaver of the Unraveled, the Rekindler of Doused Fires, the Sandman of Endless Beaches, the Friend to the Friendless, the Harmonizer of Unsung Heros. And some even call him Syl.” - Na'Cher

From age 10, on the day he literally exploded a light-bulb, Syl Sabastian’s acute life-long love affair with Understanding began. Since then his focus on, and love of Awareness, or more accurately his struggle with non-awareness, has never let-up.

An intense reader in his youth, Syl absorbed over a book a day, including the classics read in chronological order, culminating in extensive science-fiction/fantasy/speculative reading. After transitioning to Applying and Living his philosophies, Appropriately, with Attunement the ever-present motivation and catalyst, it all morphed in time to an earnest propensity to write and communicate.

Syl and His Heart have owned restaurants, stores, online businesses, and travelled the world, while implementing and enjoying their life-perspectives of which he writes so deeply. As Biella is so fond of saying, "and there's More..."

"My life began, from earliest memory, with a peculiar precocious understanding of abstract concepts, a mystery which remains unexplained to any satisfaction. I feel I am traversing a circle back to my origin, except perhaps, now more aware of what I already knew." -  From: The Young Man's Story

Syl is a great interview and an even better friend.

A Philosopher-Writer focusing on the Application of a comprehensive Practical-Personal-Philosophy. Creator of: The Philosophy of Appropriateness and: An A+ Philosophy. Writings range considerably, from extensive psychological perspectives to fiction. All connecting in one way or another to a unique vision. A consistent coherency permeates Syl Sabastian's extensive variety.

“Syl Sabastian is a Contemporary Philosopher and Writer, who exercises a glorious intellectual mind that is most admirable for its profundity and sharpness. Often offering multiple sides of an argument, he provokes self-introspection. His aim is to uncover Appropriateness, Awareness, Attention, Application, Attunement, and more, with a unique, high-level understanding of the profound intricacies that interlace these concepts.” - TJT & PDJ, Owners of the Gateway Gazette, Entrepreneurs, Writers, Moms.

"My blog is my best bio." -SS  :) <3

“You fascinate me, you really do. I think of myself as a big deep thinker... your writing, at least what I think I understand it to be about, sounds like the basis for either a belief-system or a wonderful self-help process. Am I anywhere near the mark? I think your writing, even about yourself, is amazing by the way. Quite poetic.” - Andrew Reeves, Author, Screenwriter, Poet, Creator of The Empty World, The Voodoo Doll, Claire, The Dictionary of Stupid, and more.

Articles: 19

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